I GREW up in a middle class family with educated working parents, so I suppose I was raised in a gilded cage. My mother used to say it was very hard raising daughters, especially in Kuala Lumpur.
I resented all the control and the rules imposed upon me. I was more sensitive compared to my younger brother and sister, so my experience of growing up was pretty hard.
My parents said no to most of my requests, such as joining a school trip to Kuala Selangor, attending a classmate’s birthday celebration because he was a boy (I was seven then, so what mischief could seven-year-olds do anyway?), or gazing at the stars with members of the astronomy club in the school compound (they told me I see them from our garden).
Seriously, my parents did not know any other method of raising me. Punishment for disobedience was harsh and swift. There was no room for arguments or counter-arguments. Their way was the only way.
Negative answers definitely outnumbered the positive, giving me a ton of baggage to contend with as an adult.
But don’t get me wrong because I have grown into a relatively sensible adult with achievements that would be the envy of many. Unfortunately, I still have to deal with the baggage of growing up.
I am nearing half a decade now, and I still do not agree with my parents' methods of bringing up my siblings and me. We know that teaching our children to be responsible adults can be done in various ways. We only need to take the time to think rationally and reason with children.
I do this now with my nephews and nieces although I am not their parent. My siblings are doing the same in raising their children.
These little humans will definitely push our limits and their own presumably, but we should still keep balancing firmness with sternness. Children (I sometimes think they are aliens put on Earth to teach us responsibility or amanah) deserve our respect, and we ought to teach them how to be responsible adults without taking away their sense of fun and wonder.
How, you may think, is this related to National Day? Well, by analogy, Malaysia is a young country. It is not even 100 years old, so we are still growing up and trying to find an identity that fits us. We are still trying to find what makes us comfortable in our own skin.
We are still trying to make sense of all the noise out there, the information and disinformation, the stupidity and the ridiculousness, which nowadays is amplified by social media.
After gaining independence, our country faced its destiny with all the panache and swagger of a teenager. We achieved numerous milestones in our socioeconomic growth, staring down some trials and tribulations along the way, including recessions/downturns in the 80s and the late 90s (the Asian Financial Crisis) and most recently the Covid-19 pandemic.
This is the way of the World. There will be ups and downs; what is important is how and when we get back up, and how we look at the lessons of our "failure" and re-build on a stronger platform.
I, for one, believe we are on the right track although we have yet to see the results. To ensure a sustainable, robust and resilient country, we need to do what is unpopular first, just like any parent would to make sure their child grows up fit to face the world, come what may.
Selamat Hari Merdeka, my young country and all my fellow Malaysians. We may bicker and argue as siblings would, but when the going gets tough, we as a nation will come together to help one another regardless of our differences.
We have made ourselves proud because no matter what is thrown our way, we have proven time and time again that we can find solutions, effect change and weather hardship without spilling blood and destroying our country.
For that, I am so proud to be a Malaysian.
VOLUNTEER
The National House Buyers Association
Kuala Lumpur
