Queen Elizabeth II was a beacon of dignity and morality that citizens everywhere long for in their leaders but rarely get

Photo: Reuters

TEARS came unbidden when I watched former royal press secretary Dickie Arbiter paying tribute to Queen Elizabeth and explaining the planning that would go into her funeral.

When my daughter broke the news of her death in the early hours of Friday (Sept 9), I was awake and in front of my computer. I quickly looked for reports to confirm it was true. After all, the BBC had earlier wrongly reported her death.

But it was indeed correct. The queen we all knew was gone. I was surprised by my grief. Princess Diana's death in 1997 was a shock, but I didn't cry for her. Neither did Prince Philip's passing in April last year move me to tears.

So why was I crying for Queen Elizabeth II, who I had met only once briefly in 1989?

It happened when Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip were in Kuala Lumpur in October of that year for the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM). It was her second visit out of three to Malaysia. The first was in 1972 and the third was when she was present at the Kuala Lumpur Commonwealth Games of 1998.

Out of the blue, I received a grand-looking invitation card stating that the Lord Chamberlain had been commanded by her majesty to invite me to a tea reception with her.

I had long wondered why I was the only journalist invited from The Star. I think I finally know the reason. I recently came across a file containing newspaper clippings of my articles that my father had compiled, and among them were the many articles I had written for the newspaper's run-up coverage of CHOGM.

Perhaps the British High Commission here noticed my "contributions" and put my name down as a media representative on the guest list. Perhaps, I will never know for sure.

My meeting with Queen Elizabeth was at Seri Carcosa, which was then a hotel where she was staying.

As I have recalled in a past article, I was probably the 108th person in the queue to be introduced to her. An aide stood slightly behind her, and we had to pass our name cards to him and he would whisper it to her. I'm sure most names didn't register with her.

What I remember quite well after 33 years was the short conversation with her. I was standing with other guests when she made her rounds, came to us and stopped.

In classic British fashion, our topic was the weather. She regaled us, in that girlish, slightly high-pitched voice, with her tale of flying to Ipoh to pay a visit to the royal town of Kuala Kangsar at the invitation of the late Sultan Azlan Shah of Perak, who was then the Yang di-Pertuan Agong.

As she disembarked from the plane, she was greeted by the King, who was expected to accompany her down the red carpet that had been rolled out for her. But because it had rained earlier, the carpet was apparently soaking wet. Queen Elizabeth told us that she didn't fancy walking on the soggy rug – she was wearing white shoes after all – but every time she tried to walk off it, the King gently steered her back on it!

We laughed with genuine mirth at the image of two royals jostling on the red carpet. Queen E must have had countless encounters with ordinary folk like us which she wouldn't recall, but this is my precious memory of my sole meeting with one of the most iconic and historic figures in the world. But that brief meeting wasn't the reason for my tears and grief over her passing.

I am not even a British subject. By the time I was born, my country was no longer one of her former colonies. Unlike several other former states which were territories in the British empire, she is not the head of state of Malaysia, therefore I owe her no allegiance.

What made Queen Elizabeth II – born on April 21, 1926, and named Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor – so special to many was how she lived her most exemplary life that spanned most of humankind's most exciting and fast-changing eras, the 20th century as well as the first quarter of the 21st century.

She came from a time when virtues and traits like tradition, duty, sacrifice, honour and personal morality were expected from people in high and exalted positions. She was the last of that generation, which included Winston Churchill, Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela.

Baby boomer Malaysians like me grew up in the 1960s and 1970s when the British influence was still strong and romanticised. We loved her fairytale princess-like story of how she met her prince charming and love of her life, Philip, as a teenager and had a marriage that lasted nearly 74 years. Like a good drama, she wasn't born to reign, but by a twist of fate, at the age of 25, she succeeded her father, King George VI.

She was young and beautiful, with a handsome prince consort, and on her 21st birthday, while visiting South Africa, she made a vow, declaring "before you all, that my whole life whether it be long or short shall be devoted to your service and the service of our great imperial family to which we all belong."

The imperial family is long gone and replaced by the Commonwealth of Nations made up of 56 former territories of the British empire but she remained steadfast to that vow.

Even as Elizabeth aged and new and younger members of the royal family took the spotlight – the most striking being Diana – the admiration for Elizabeth never waned.

In many ways, Elizabeth was fortunate to belong to a royal lineage with a long history and steeped in grand rituals and traditions which have become universally admired and copied around the world. No other royal family comes close to the stature the British royal family has and the interest it generates.

Somehow, she could project a persona that the public wanted in their queen – a crowned head who lived in grand palaces full of pomp and pageantry but who was also seen as a down-to-earth person with a human touch. Her hobbies and interests ranged from common (gardening, stamp collecting, corgis) to eclectic (pigeon racing, horse riding, and bird and deer hunting).Another endearing aspect of her was that she was never seen as being extravagant, frivolous and self-indulgent. Perhaps having all those crown jewels meant she didn't need to buy huge rocks to show off.

Her dressing style was classic and classy when the formal occasion called for it and practical, with her fondness for wearing a headscarf tied under her chin, almost peasant-like when she was in the countryside.

When scandals and transgressions engulfed royal family members like her younger sister Margaret, and sons like Charles and Andrew, and now her grandson Harry, she stayed above the fray.

Her high standing did wobble slightly when the public was dismayed by a perceived lack of grief on her part at Diana's death, but she quickly corrected that.

Queen Elizabeth II was the consummate queen for modern times. Her position as head of state might have been mostly ceremonial and despite how the media and the public became increasingly prying and intrusive, she managed to retain her mysterious royal aura, and her personal integrity and sense of duty were never doubted or questioned.

It was such qualities that made Elizabeth a steadfast beacon of impeccable dignity and unimpeachable morality that citizens everywhere long for in their leaders but rarely get.

In the days to come, we will be glued to the Internet or TV for news of her final journey to her resting place. That's because she didn't only belong to Britons but to all of us, and we will bid her farewell from wherever we are in the world. May she rest in peace.

June HL Wong writes the fortnightly So Aunty, So What column in The Star.