Take time to find pleasure and enjoy the here and now. Photos: 123rf.com
Lights are glistening, holiday music is on the radio and people are gathering around you, laughing, and celebrating. For some, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, but for many it is also that time when we think about another year gone by and begin that mental inventory of our lives. Goals not yet accomplished. Colleagues and neighbours that look like they’ve passed us by.
You thought you’d be happier, more satisfied.
You’re not alone if you think you might be missing out.
Everyone strives for happiness. Studies repeatedly show that happiness leads to better physical and mental health and contributes to a longer life. But happiness can feel elusive and hard to grasp, especially if you aren’t really sure what happiness is or how to get there.
The concept that most of us call happiness is referred to by psychologists as your subjective well-being. A broad, individualised perception of your life’s situation and your satisfaction with it. Maybe you’ve seen the greeting card that has a happy dog hanging out of the window of a moving car that reads “it’s the journey not the destination”.
Satisfaction with life, your subjective well-being, includes all the good and bad you encounter, ending with your being able, at the end of the day, to hang your head out the window, with ears flapping, taking in the wind, the sun, the next adventure.
If you are struggling to find a general sense of satisfaction and contentment with life, it’s probably crossed your mind that some people just seem naturally happier. Research shows that is actually true. And the news is good and bad. While a twin’s study completed by the University of Minnesota found that 50% of life satisfaction has a genetic component, most importantly for those looking to make some changes, the other 50% means that you have a lot of room to create some change in your life.
You look around and wonder why you aren’t happy like other people. You are more alike than you realise.
People with a positive sense of well-being experience the entire realm of human emotion just as you do, though people with a positive sense of well-being feel pleasure and optimism more often than sadness or pain.
It could be their good luck that life hasn’t brought them as many heartaches or that genetically they tolerate stressors better, but regardless of the advantages one person has over another, no one is immune to life’s struggles. Looking at how others have found greater life satisfaction and happiness will help you achieve the same.
A sense of belonging and connectedness help make the journey of life a more satisfying one.
Psychologist Martin Seligman identified three dimensions of happiness, pleasure, engagement and meaning. In his studies, each dimension was present in the happiest people.
Each of which is controllable by the individual, regardless of genetics or experience.
If your struggles with finding happiness and contentment with your life are more than you can manage on your own, professionals are available to help you.
Here are some suggestions to get you started toward finding greater satisfaction, contentment, and happiness.
> Take time to find pleasure and enjoy the here and now. Revel in your current accomplishments. Find pleasure in the journey.
> Recognise when rigid expectations lead to negative feelings. This must happen for my happiness. Be flexible and value the concept of some or different vs the need to have it exactly the way you want it. Don’t equate happiness with all- or-nothing specific goal attainment – the perfect job or partner.
> Engage and share your life with others. According to the Harvard study, “Very Happy People”, there is a strong correlation between persons with strong social networks and perceived happiness. Belonging and connectedness help us both when we are up and when we are down, making the journey of life a more confident and satisfying one.
> Find your meaning and purpose and keep it alive in your journey. Your sense of meaning and purpose is your own. It is what internally motivates you down your path – whether it is related to work, responsibility to family or community, or commitment to spirituality or religious belief.
Researcher Kaylin Ratner published in the Journal Of Happiness Studies that when people feel a greater sense of purpose, they report greater satisfaction with life and overall wellbeing. – Tribune News Service/The News Herald, Southgate, Michigan/Joe Gray
