Discovering full potential after son's birth

  • Lifestyle
  • Monday, 12 Dec 2011

My growing up years were filled with children day in, day out. Not that I have a big family (there was just me and my sis) but Mum was a full-time babysitter and she was taking care of five kids at one time.

For 20 years or so, I was constantly surrounded by children, as their parents only took them home on weekends. I got so used to kids - taking care of them and screaming at them that when I got married, I told my husband that I didn't want any kids! They were a nightmare to me.

To be fair to my husband, I agreed to have a child – but just one.

Bryan came into our lives in April 2007 after two years of marriage. He was a pain, really!

He was suckling every two hours and each time, it was for about an hour! This went on for more than two months. And, every single night, he would need his fix at least two to three times. He also wanted me to carry and hug him to sleep. The minute I put him down, he would scream. I barely slept. It was not easy because I needed to wake up at 6am the next day to send him to my mum while I went to work.

I would then pick him up after work and only reached home past 9pm.

This was our routine every single weekday. I hated life then. So much so that I used to cry at night in bed.

I couldn't sleep and yet I still had to go to work the next morning. I hated myself for agreeing to have a baby.

For Bryan's full-moon (one month) celebration, we organised a buffet lunch at a restaurant and ordered cupcakes for my colleagues and friends. Those cupcakes were so cute!

Then one day it just bit me – the baking bug.

I wanted to learn to bake!

Countless bakes after (mostly landing into the rubbish bin), I finally was able to share some decent cakes with the family.

Now, two years after moving into our very own home, I am looking at baking in a whole different light. It has given me something to call my own. It showed me that there is life beyond full-time work, being a wife and mum.

Baking gave me an avenue to find myself useful again in a way that I enjoyed. Baking was my way of telling myself that I can still do something to keep myself happy.

Now Bryan is four and he is such a unique character that he makes me laugh silently in my heart although I yell at him when he is a tough nut to crack. He literally brings out the worst in me!

But, I would not exchange him for anything in this world. And, I thank him for showing me that I can do something that never in my wildest imagination did I imagine I could do. I never knew my full potential until Bryan came along.

Love you always,

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