Advice to first-time mothers

I have four pieces of advice about pregnancy and childbirth to share with first-time mothers:

1) Do not smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, or take unnecessary drugs.
Children have enough difficulties in today's world without having to start out with some sort of preventable physical abnormality.

Babies are such innocent creatures. They did not ask to be brought into the world. The least we can do as responsible adults is to give them the best start possible. Just because you are pregnant, does not mean you can eat whatever you want. Make sure you maintain a well-balanced diet and go light on the sweets. Anything you gain over approximately 20lb will be with you after the birth, and we all know that losing weight is not very easy. Be sure to exercise.

Giving birth is very hard work, and you should be in the best physical shape possible. The one area I did not pay enough attention to was my arms. They got very tired during the pushing portion of delivery. You will also need strong arms to carry your baby around. Do not be afraid, stay relaxed. The contractions are very uncomfortable, but it is a “good” pain, and the result of all that work is wonderful!

2) Don't always listen to the terrible stories of childbirth.
After two births, all deliveries went fine. Sure it hurts, but after seeing your baby for the first time you forget about all the pain. Enjoy being pregnant. Remember how it feels to have your baby kick and squirm inside you because you'll miss it. Don't anticipate the birth with fear or anxiety. Soon enough you'll have a beautiful baby to more than compensate for any pain.

My second pregnancy went so much better because I was more relaxed, and I took it so much more in stride. I didn't get as big, either. I also tried to stay away from sweets and ate good food, and didn't gain as much weight. I did have bad “morning sickness” for three months, and it was hard with another child.

For my first child I had a C-section and an awful experience. The second one was still a hard labour but I had her naturally, and that was wonderful, with such an easy recovery. It was worth the pain of labour.

3) Filter the advice.
There is so much advice you'll receive that does not apply to you and your child within. Trust what you know of yourself and your pregnancy experience MORE than you trust “outsiders”. And READ, READ, READ!

When you're pregnant, you will find that other mothers like to share their pregnancy and labour stories. However, remember everyone is different. Just because their childbirth was difficult and painful, doesn't mean yours will be, too. If you are in pain or something is wrong, you may need medication or a Caesarean section. What's best for you and your baby is important and nothing else counts. Don't let people shame you on your decision.

A healthy, happy, normal baby is all that's important.

Pregnancy is not a disease that needs to be cured or treated in any way. Eat healthy food with lots of protein to grow your baby.

4) Give serious thought to breastfeeding.
Aside from being the best for baby, it is the most convenient. The milk is always fresh, warm and handy. No bottle washing, worrying about milk being too old or too hot, and it is the most economical. If you decide to try nursing, buy a good book on it.

Azatulsheeda Mohd Azman