WHO would have known one person’s memoir on her parenting experience could ignite such a firestorm of debate?
Why the furore?
Probably because it touched a nerve. Certainly, the book’s theme of the superiority of the Chinese approach to parenting feeds into the political climate of the day, what with the question marks hanging over America’s political (Wall St and subprime) and moral (Iraq, etc) leadership, even as a rising China hums along nicely.
The blogosphere is predictably abuzz, mostly with angry reactions. Chua has, reportedly, even received death threats, which is a funny way for people who disagree with her views to demonstrate that the Western approach is better than the harsh Chinese way.
It’s a bit like trying to spread democracy through the barrel of a gun, no? Or killing abortion doctors because you believe in the sanctity of life. Oh, right, there’s a bit of that going on, isn’t there?
The death threats notwithstanding, Chua could not have asked for a better way to launch her book. As they say, no publicity is bad publicity, and Chua is a savvy writer who knows just how to push her readers’ buttons.
In her book, she is often deliberately provocative – “I wasn’t fragile like Western parents.” “Raising kids the Chinese way is much harder than the Western way.” “Most of the other students at the school had liberal parents who were weak-willed and indulgent when it came to practising (piano).”
Chua even likens Western parenting, albeit in a roundabout way, to how she rears her dogs. “I don’t make any demands of them, and I don’t try to shape them or their future. For the most part, I trust them to make the right choices for themselves,” she writes matter-of-factly.
Golly gee, even I flinched at that.
Even when she admits to having self-doubt, for instance, when she concedes that Chinese parenting does not address happiness, Chua is always ready to fire a return volley – “But here’s the thing. When I look around at all the Western families falling apart – all the grown sons and daughters who can’t stand to be around their parents or don’t even talk to them – I have a hard time believing that Western parenting does a better job with happiness.”
But beyond the jibes and the barbs, Tiger Mother is an interesting and relevant discussion on what is the best way to bring up the kids in a world that has been made smaller and more similar by technology. There is no denying that some of Chua’s methods may come across as excessive, even maniacal (A- is frowned upon), but her account of her journey is much more nuanced than the Internet chatter would have you believe, even a little conflicted and humorous.
For instance, Chua’s exhortation to her daughter to relax when she’s playing the violin – by screaming at the poor girl. In the end, though, she has to relent and ease up on the pressure cooker atmosphere she fosters in her home.
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