All a girl wants . . . is a man whose cosmetics don’t outnumber hers on the shelf.
The other night at a mamak stall, a metrosexual heterosexual friend (politically correct labels seem to be increasing at the same pace as the price of diesel, it seems) unabashedly announced that he was very into products that “smoothen the skin and even out skin tone”, as well as the occasional visit to the spa.
I took a closer look and noticed that despite the considerable darkness, my friend’s skin was glowing. Had Metrosexual Mania reared its well-groomed head, even amongst the generally laid-back mamak crowd?
Mr Glowing Skin’s statement got me thinking. After decades of complaining about the ratty-haired, scruffy men of yesteryear, have we girls created a fashion-conscious fiend?
Let’s be honest, who wants to go to a skin spa and have to compete with a Metrosexual Man for the beautician’s time especially after having spent a long day at the office competing with Every Kind of Man for the boss’ time?
Some girls may like Boyfriends/ Husbands who can intelligently debate on the merits of using facial scrub, but the rest of us still enjoy the company of a guy who doesn’t know if you’re supposed to use toner on your face or your fingernails.
In fact, I believe that the paparazzi have it all wrong about international metrosexual poster boy, David Beckham. If his marriage ever ends, it’s probably because Posh will finally get tired of Becks looking perfect with nary a hair out of place.
Most of us want a solicitous, intelligent man who has just enough fashion sense to understand that multi-coloured striped pants and spotted shirts are for professional wear . . . only if you are Bobo the Clown!
Knowing that carrot-cut, stone-washed jeans went out with Paula Abdul’s singing career (thank goodness!) will also earn bonus points with the ladies.
Call me old-fashioned, but perfectly manicured nails and (gasp!) eyebrows as well as gelled hair are just a tad much.
Besides, all this has raised a disquieting thought: If you’re dating this type, how much metrosexuality is acceptable before you start to speculate about his heterosexuality? If he starts telling you: “Honey, turquoise is SO in right now”, it’s time to wonder if he’s shifting into a g(r)ay area.
But to all the girls who are tired of fighting, not for the remote, but for the hairdryer, here’s a glimmer of hope. According to the net, girls everywhere have become weary of primping and preening metrosexuals.
I discovered that embracing metrosexuality today is akin to committing a major trend faux pas. It’s ironic, really, because the metrosexual won’t be caught dead near anything that’s not red-hot-right-now. Yes, girls, it looks like the Metrosexual Man himself is now considered SO last season!
Research done for an action adventure group in the UK, boldly concludes that the Metrosexual Man has gone the way of the dodo and his successor is – drum roll please – the Adrenosexual man.
While the Metrosexual got his kicks from spas and salons, the Adrenosexual gets his from speed karting and sky diving. It’s apparently all about the adrenalin for this new species. He may not care which pair of shoes are “with it”, but he’ll walk a tightrope 6m off the ground – minus a net – and not even blink.
So all you Metrosexual Men out there, beware. Remember that it’s not fashionable to be fashionable. The next time you strut down the street dressed to the nines, you might just attract the wrong kind of attention. You may find the Trend Police on you . . . Don’t say you weren’t warned! W
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