My silver lining

MY wife and I celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary yesterday. It is not exactly the year where one will do something spectacular, like on the 25th or 50th.

But it was probably the first anniversary when we woke up miles apart.

I was in Penang on a short working trip so I did not get the chance to give her breakfast in bed in our home back in Kelana Jaya. Ah, the hopeless romantic.

On the bus journey back yesterday, I was contemplating about our relationship, and how it has blossomed through so many trials and tribulations.

Three years ago, we had wanted to do something crazy, like go bungy jumping in New Zealand, to celebrate our 25 years together.

But there I was, right in the middle of my chemotherapy journey, having just completed the fourth of my six cycles. And all we could do was to have a quiet, but no less joyous, dinner at home. It was on that day that I penned a reflection about my wife, the “silver lining” in my life, on my Facebook.

I wrote about how, when people relate to my journeys with cancer, they often focus on the ailment, the “dark clouds” of my life, rather than see the bigger picture of my journey with my soulmate.

Which is a shame. The book we wrote, for example, was not only about my own journey, but also the rollercoaster ride that my wife had to go through.

I recall the many times when I felt lonely, despondent, and rejected. And that would be the time when my wife would just smile and say, “Don’t worry, you never lose faith. You never lose heart.”

And then, true enough, I will spring back the next day. My wife is like that. She is indeed the silver lining in my life. In the 28 years we have been married, she has walked alongside me every step of the way. Through good times, through tough times, she has been the steady anchor in my life.

And what about my journeys with cancer? Not once, not twice, but three times? Through it all, she is that special caregiver par excellence.

Yes, I do get a lot of support from many friends, relatives and neighbours but only she can be there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on, or when I wake up in the middle of the night, anxious and frightened, wondering what tomorrow holds.

As I made final tweaks to this column on the bus, I am thankful for every day since that day 28 years ago when we came together as one.

I wake up each morning in the arms of someone who truly takes our marriage vows seriously. And she does not have to join the Obedient Wives Club to prove it.

She is not only a great wife, but my friend and my soulmate.

She has always been that essential reminder for us to be in the world, and yet not of the world.

The material prosperity has always been there for our picking but we are thankful that God has blessed us with what we need, no more, no less.

These past 28 years have been a journey of discovery and every moment, every decision, have made it such a joy ride.

For many of us, we may notice a silver lining once in a while. I am thankful that there is this silver lining in my life all the time.

• Executive editor Soo Ewe Jin ([e-mail]) has a work of art in his office painted by his wife with the words, “Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.”
• The views expressed are entirely the writer's own.