Young adolescents often lack the maturity for marriage. At that age they are just getting used to the changes their body is experiencing. - Reuters photo
Most parents in Malaysia would be horrified to read about a young adolescent getting married. Even though it is something that our great grandparents may have done many years ago, today it is unheard of, especially to cityfolk.At that age, most of us were still playing games with our friends and watching TV when we weren't doing homework.
Yet, it obviously does still happen in Malaysia (http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2012/10/11/lifeliving/12153402&sec=lifeliving).
How can a child be ready for marriage?
Miliee Kassim, executive trustee of Kassim Chin Humanity Foundation (KCHF) questions how children can be allowed to marry at such a tender age.
“They are not yet mature and still need taking care of. Even if children at this young age wanted to marry, one should realise that what these children have in mind may be just fantasy of what movies and storybooks are made of. The reality of responsibilities have not dawned upon them yet,” she says.
Author, trainer and mother of six, Jamilah Samian believes that the scenario is different for every individual.
“The map is not the territory. Reality for one person is very different from another. We tend to make assumptions and judgments, based on our own experiences and values, and impose it on other people despite the fact that we know so little about them, apart from what we read in the media. We don't know their specific circumstances. We may not even make an attempt to understand where they're coming from! How do we know if it's the right or wrong thing to do?” she asks.
Adolescence
Elaine Yong, lecturer and developmental psychologist with Sunway University says that at age 11-13, an individual is transitioning from the phase of late childhood to adolescence. The major developmental milestone at this period is puberty and identifying their sexual identity.
“Physically, a young adolescent is adjusting and learning to accept the physical changes that his/ her body is experiencing. Some individuals may readily accept these physical changes while others may take a longer time. And on the other extreme, some may be overly obsessed and develop anxiety towards their body image.
“Emotionally, as an impact of puberty, boys and girls begin to take an interest in the opposite gender. They begin to leave behind childhood preferences of mixing with same sex peers. Through these social interactions, some boys/ girls develop 'crushes' and begin exploring their sexual identities.
“Secondly, at that age, children are more likely to confide in their peers rather than their parents. However, they will still highly regard parental approval and see their older siblings are role models. Cognitively, a young adolescent has just begun to develop critical thinking. They will find abstract thinking challenging. They are years away from developing rational thinking. Most adults may only reach rational cognitive development at 24 years.
“Thus, at age 11-13, with the developmental milestones explained, we are seeing an individual who is not ready for marriage in most aspects be it physically, socio-emotionally or cognitively. He is just beginning to explore his sexual identity and become more critical of the world with the support from the family. For girls, they may be ready to physically mother a child but they will have difficulty carrying and delivering a full-term baby. Most children that age are awkward and shy and are desperately trying to identify with themselves; and are not ready to emotionally and cognitively handle the expectations of marriage and parenthood,” she says.
Health risks
According to the International Center for Research on Women (ICRW), there is often pressure on girls who marry young to have children before their bodies are fully developed. This puts their health and lives at risk.
Those aged below 15 are five times more likely to die in childbirth than women in their 20s. In addition, they are at greater risk for obstetric fistula, a medical condition often caused by prolonged or obstructed labour.
The ICRW says that infants born to young mothers are likely to be premature births and have low birth weight. In fact, they are more likely to die.
Social impact
Psychologist Yong says young adolescents who marry will have a shortened childhood. Typically, they will have to give up school because they have a family to care for. This deprives the individual of completing her education and an opportunity to gain a respectable employment. Someday, she may harbour resentment at having missed this lifetime opportunity to have a complete education and childhood.
It is likely that they will also lose their friends due to lack of common areas of interest to talk about; and changed priorities. Their friends get to attend school and remain single. Family ties with their parents will be viewed very differently as the individual is no longer perceived as a child and will need to exercise their own discretion or turn to their spouse when faced with any difficulties.
“In terms of dealing with parenthood, these individuals may be ignorant about family planning methods and do not know how to avoid unwanted pregnancies. There have been incidences/ reports of girls not being aware of their pregnancies until they feel the movements of the developing foetus in their bellies.
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