Before the birth of your child, you would have made all the necessary preparations to receive him. You would have given much thought to getting a suitable cot, pram, clothes, diapers, etc.
Your child arrives and you adjust to being a new parent ( if this is your first child). You look forward to every stage of his development. His first eye contact, smile, turning over, sitting up and many more.
What happens if he doesn't “do the things” that he is expected to? What happens if you suspect your child is not up to par with the other children his age? Could your child be “different”? How prepared are you to cope with the challenges?
It is not so easy to recognise if your child has learning disabilities* until it's time for him or her to start learning their ABC's and going to preschool. Usually, learning disabilities do not manifest in a person's facial features. Thus, a child with normal facial features may only exhibit slowness around the age of two or three years of age. Usually parents would be advised to wait until after three years old to have a formal assessment done.
Personally, I would advise parents who suspect their child's developmental milestone is lagging to have their child assessed by a developmental peadiatrician or a psychologist as soon as possible. If the child is slow but within the “normal range”, then their doubts are cleared and they will just have to monitor his progress closely.
However, if the results do indicate some form of delayed development and/or some form of learning disability, then they should be advised to commence the necessary therapy and/or intervention programmes. Some parents may want to go for a second opinion, which is fine as long as they do not delay the second appointment for too long.
Once a diagnosis is confirmed, parents must act quickly. Do not wallow in self-pity nor waste time being in denial. The longer you delay action, the more time you will lose. There are three important things that parenst must do:
Prepare themselves for the challenges ahead.
i) Find out as much as you can about your child's condition. Get information from the Internet, books and doctors/psychologists. What will his challenges be and the assistance that he would require.
ii) Join a parents' support group and talk to other parents whose children have the same condition.
iii) This is not a lone battle, thus involve all family members, including siblings and grandparents.
Revise your priorities.
Your list of priorities must change – your child has special needs and both your journeys will be on the “road less travelled”. Concentrate on skills that would bring him far in life. Children with learning disabilities usually have some sort of language-communication problems, thus you should be paying attention to this area of concern. Focus on self-help skills as well as this will help him to lead an independent life.
Change all expectations.
Do not expect your child to “catch up” and become a “regular” kid eventually. The reality is that it will most likely not happen. The best you can do is to help him reach his potential. Equip him with the necessary skills, explore his interests and natural talents, and hone those skills. While these children are not academically inclined, they are usually quite creative; thus you should change your direction and expectations!
As for the child, play with him! Play is the most natural medium for learning, thus it is best to teach through play. Take him to the playground, get him to play lots of manipulatives, encourage non-structured play and get his hands “dirty” in arts and crafts sessions.
Get him invloved in all daily activities. When it is age appropriate, teach him to:
- wear his own clothes and shoes
- feed himself
- carry his own bag
- lock and unlock doors
- count everything
- read the time
- use money
- cross the road
- and many more
While normally-developing children learn through experience and observation, special children need to be taught many of these skills. The earlier parents start the training, the better and easier it becomes.
The above is intended as a general guide. All children are unique and have different needs. In any case, I hope the above is helpful.
* Notes – Learning disabilities may involve one or a combination of the following:
- autism
- ADHD (attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder)
- dyslexia
- language and/or speech disorder
- sensory processing disorder
- Down Syndrome
- low IQ and many more
Anna Wong, mother to a 16-year-old special girl, founded Glen Stream (www.senses-at-play.com) in 2005 to assist other parents on this challenging journey. Her company offers related products and services.
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