Learning your child's sleep routine

I AM a first-time mum and my little girl is nine weeks old. She has come a long way because we’ve settled into a night routine and she sleeps quite well at night. She goes to bed before 8pm and now only wakes up once for a night feed. Recently, I noticed that her night feed may also stop. After her feeds, she usually goes back to sleep without much fuss.

Yesterday she only got up once, at 5.30am, went back to sleep and later woke up at 7:30am. 

I was quite surprised because it seemed so hard in the beginning. Looking back, I don’t remember how we did it or anything in particular that we did to make it work.  

But I don’t have the same luck with naps in the daytime. She used to be able to sleep right after feeds when she was a newborn, but not anymore after two weeks.  

Now she most definitely is awake after feeds which is fine, but after being awake for about one hour, I can catch the cues that she is getting sleepy, but I cannot put her to sleep.

She will then get overtired and fuss and sometimes cry loudly.  

So I have resorted to holding her to sleep. I’ve also used the pacifier on and off. This is something I do not want to do too often. 

I don’t use any rockers/ bouncers. The first nap of the day is the easiest. Then it just spirals downwards from there. 

When she gets to sleep, her naps will last a maximum of 45 minutes. She will wake up crying. Most of the time she is cranky because of lack of sleep. Occasionally she will be OK to play with.  

I’m trying to put her into a daytime routine too. She bottlefeeds every three-and-a-half hours or so. I’m sure she needs more sleep than just 45 minutes, at her age.  

I will be going back to work soon so I hope to set her on the right track. Is it too soon to start training her to sleep? I feel she is still so young to expect so much of her, but on the other hand I don’t want bad habits to set in.  

Can you suggest any methods of getting her to develop a regular sleeping pattern? Or should I just go with the flow and hope she will regulate herself as she gets older and fall into a routine? 

Will using pacifiers at the beginning of sleep make it a habit? 

I am tempted to use bouncers and rockers to get her to nap. – First-time mother 

Babies need a lot of sleep. Their sleep patterns do change as they grow. They can learn to self-regulate their sleep patterns. Timing varies with every individual child. It’s important that parents develop a relationship with their babies by supporting their needs. 

To look after your baby, you must know how to take your baby’s cues. Get to know her well – her likes and dislikes. As you become more confident and familiar with your baby’s signals to you, she too will develop a more regular routine. 

I believe the nightly routine is synchronised by parent and child. It is found that the more the baby frets, the more anxious the parent gets. This in turn, makes the baby more fussy and cranky because the parent is trying all sorts to stop the fussing. 

Your nine-week-old baby sleeps a little less than she did as a newborn, about 15 to 16 hours on average. If she sleeps most of these hours at night, she will stay awake much longer during the day. When it comes to duration and the number of naps, it varies with the individual baby. 

Babies do fuss and cry upon waking up. Although you should still go to your baby when she cries, give her a little time, around five minutes or so. She may settle down on her own and go back to sleep. Or she may want to play and coo. 

To get her to nap easily, you may want to work in synch with her signals. You need to look carefully at your child and not the time. Your baby can get quality naps when they happen in synch with their natural nap rhythm. 

Your child may have long or brief naps. You need to be respectful of your child’s individual style and not compare her with other babies. The more you accept her and what she does, you will be able to understand how to soothe her when she needs it.  

The answer to better naps lies with you and your child. Enjoy your time together when she is awake. Your baby wants a happy mother who knows that everything will be fine.  

The napping routine will fall into place just like the nightly bedtime routine when both parent and child settle into a regular pattern of interaction. 

You are feeling a little anxious because you are going back to work soon. This may affect your relationship with your child. Stay calm and confident with your baby. Just as you take cues from her, she learns from your consistent and assuring behaviour.