Photo: 123rf
I RECENTLY met several parents standing at very different points in the journey of discovering their child may be autistic. Some walked in with quiet suspicion. Some came armed with denial. Some held on tightly to hoping for some miracle.
One encounter still stays with me. Two aunties brought in their young nephew for what seemed like a routine upper respiratory tract infection. But the moment I saw him, something felt amiss – not in his chest, but in the way he avoided eye contact, the way he played with his fingers, the way he remained locked in his own world.
After treating the illness, I asked about his development. To my surprise, the two aunties broke down crying.
“We know something is wrong, doctor. The parents don’t want to hear it.”
Their tears were not about autism. Their tears were about helplessness. They asked me if the child could begin therapy – without the parents knowing. My heart broke, because the truth is this: No child can go on this journey alone. And no therapist can work without the parents’ partnership.
Autism is not caused by parenting styles, screen time, vaccines, or supernatural factors. Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition and not a punishment. And here is what research has repeatedly highlighted: Early diagnosis is never harmful. Delayed diagnosis always is.
Early therapy changes outcomes dramatically. Children diagnosed early often develop language, social skills, and independence far better than those diagnosed late. But early diagnosis can only happen when parents are willing to accept, understand, and take the next step.
It seems to me that the hardest part for many parents is not the therapy but rather acceptance. Denial is not unusual and neither is it a sign of bad parenting. It is a sign of love mixed with fear. Fear of stigma, fear of being “labelled”, fear of what society will say, and fear of losing the dreams they had for their child.
But this is what I want every parent to know: A diagnosis does not take away a child’s future. Denial does. A diagnosis does not define a child, it simply explains their world better. And with that explanation comes the power to help them.
The real “miracle” is not avoiding a diagnosis but starting therapy early. I have seen children who began working with their condition at a very early age and are now coping very well. I have seen parents who once feared the diagnosis now proudly advocating for their child. I have seen children bloom the moment their world became structured, understood, and supported. Progress is the real miracle, and it needs a starting point.
To all parents out there: If someone raises concerns about your child’s development, don’t be afraid. Ask questions. Seek assessment. Explore therapies. And it is not a verdict. It is a head start. Your child is not broken, but your child needs support, understanding, and a team walking beside him/her. And that team must start with you.
To our communities and families: Support parents. Do not shame them. Do not dismiss professionals. Do not encourage them to “just wait and see” when all signs are pointing otherwise.
Love also means courage. Love also means facing what is difficult now, so your child can thrive later. In the end, that little boy with the flu did not need antibiotics. He needed adults who could see him, accept him, and take his hand to lead him into the future.
Autism is not a tragedy. Silence and denial are. Malaysia must come together to build a world where screening, therapy, and early support are not seen as stigma, but as opportunities. Every child deserves the chance to reach his or her full potential. And that chance begins with acknowledging the truth.
DR NAVEEN NAIR GANGADARAN
Paediatrician
Seremban
The writer is a committee member of the Malaysian Paediatric Association and the Perinatal Society Malaysia.
