“Stop dismissing concerning behaviours.”
That is the core message Sunway University School of Psychology senior lecturer Dr Wu Shin Ling has for parents.
Citing that youth violence is rarely sudden, she noted that it is usually the end result of multiple risk factors accumulating over time.
“This is rarely intentional neglect,” she said, adding, “More often, it reflects stigma, fear of labelling, or uncertainty about where to seek help.”
She urged parents to stop brushing off aggression, emotional withdrawal or boundary-crossing as “boys just being boys”, or blaming it solely on academic stress.
Malaysia, Wu said, needs to normalise help-seeking and better support parents in recognising that acknowledging a concern is not a failure of parenting, but a sign of strength.
Early support – such as short, skills-based coaching, emotion-focused anger management, family involvement, and screening for conditions like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, trauma, depression or substance use – can help redirect behaviour before it escalates, she added.
“The key message is that intervention should begin when behaviours are still mild,” she said, “rather than waiting until they become dangerous.”
Downplaying early warning signs, she warned, can also mean missing critical opportunities for timely intervention.
Stop harmful modelling
Weighing in, Suka Society training and consultancy head Alex Lui, who is also a registered clinical psychologist, cautioned against modelling violence in the home environment.
“Children have little control over the decisions made by adults – decisions that can significantly shape their well-being and development.
“When a child exhibits violent behaviour, it is the result of an interplay between individual tendencies and environmental factors,” he said.
Even when a child may have an innate predisposition towards aggression, Lui explained, the surrounding environment plays a crucial role in triggering such behaviour and shaping how it is expressed over time.
He cautioned that children who witness or experience aggression at home – including physical punishment – may learn that violence is an acceptable way to resolve conflict.
“Often, parents themselves lack the skills to communicate expectations and gain cooperation effectively because they are repeating the parenting strategies modelled by their own parents,” he said.
Pointing to statistics, Unicef Malaysia child protection specialist Lee Lyn-Ni said Malaysia has among the highest rates of violent disciplining of children in South-East Asia at 67% and remains the only country in the region that does not fully prohibit corporal punishment in all settings.
“This sends mixed messages about what forms of violence are acceptable and undermines children’s right to grow up free from violence,” she said.
Hidden triggers
Compounding the problem, Lee added, is that children are increasingly navigating online spaces where harmful content can spread rapidly.
“One in four Malaysian children encounter sexual or disturbing content online unexpectedly, while one in 25 have experienced online sexual exploitation and abuse,” Lee said.
However, Lui cautioned against viewing social media as the sole culprit.
“When children seek connection online, it is often because the adults in their lives are absent, emotionally unavailable or overwhelmed,” he said.
From a systemic perspective, Lui stressed that no single factor drives youth violence or harmful behaviour.
Instead, he pointed to the cumulative impact of rising academic and work pressures, the erosion of positive adult role models – particularly for boys – and growing economic stress, all of which can activate underlying vulnerabilities and be expressed in destructive ways.
