Lee, 39, with children (from left) Eleanor, 5, Elliot, 8, and Isobel Ong,11. The family enjoys reading.
MOTHERHOOD is a demanding role that offers its fair share of challenges and rewards. While no two mothers are alike, all want the best for their children.
Ultimately, every mother does her best to raise her children in the best way that suits her family.
For Dr Suhana Koting, 41, this means running a household without any gender stereotypes.
This, she believes, will help her five children between the ages of 13 and four months to grow up to be well-rounded people.
“Everyone shoulders the housework including cooking and cleaning. My sons love creating new dishes such as pizza by learning through YouTube.
“As a supportive mother, I buy the ingredients that they need. Basically I encourage them to be creative and independent,” said the senior lecturer at a public university.
Dr Suhana, 41, (centre) has removed gender stereotype roles at home in order for her children to grow up as well-rounded people.
“I do not ask the children to clean the kitchen once they are done cooking. Instead, I allow them to eat and rest first. Later we clean together,” she added.
Suhana said she and her husband did not set very high standards for the children’s academic results.
“I allow them to enjoy learning even if it means making mistakes. When parents set high expectations and these are not met, we end up becoming frustrated and unintentionally take it out on the children. We should guide the children but allow them to grow independently,” she added.
Suhana also engaged the children in small activities and appreciated the time spent together.
“We do projects together such as painting the house, cooking and cleaning. I also use the weekends to check on their homework.”
Staying organised
Athalia Lee, 39, has always wanted to be a mother and was even looking forward to becoming a housewife before her children were born.
The former sub-editor for a business publication has three children between the ages of five and 11.
She raises them with the help of her husband as the family has no maid.
To ensure everything runs like clockwork, Lee uses a to-do list every day.
Valsala (centre) flanked by her daughters Heerraa (left)and Harsha during the launch of her book ‘Raising Successful Children’.
“Writing down my daily tasks on paper and checking them off when the tasks are completed feels like a reward,” said the avid reader.
She inherited the habit from her mother and hoped to impart it to her children.
“I was introduced to The Chronicles of Narnia, Peter Rabbit and Winnie The Pooh by my mother and I am doing the same to my children,” she added.
“As for managing stress, I feel going out to the park helps to relieve stress. We also visit the Bukit Gasing trails when we need some outdoor time,” said Lee.
Setting a good example
Valsala Krishnan, 49, author of Raising Successful Children, is a single mother of two children who are undergraduates at Ivy League universities in the United States.
Her eldest daughter, Heerraa Ravindran, 22, is studying in Harvard University while 19-year-old Harsha is at University of Pennsylvania.
Valsala, a C-Suite coach and mentor, said she had long stopped trying to be a supermum and instead just tries to be “human” while parenting.
“When I was in the corporate world, I would rush my parents while helping them to do things. I used to get frustrated.
“These days, I set aside half a day to help my mum if she needs to run errands or visit the doctor. I want to be a good example to my daughters,” said Valsala, who used to be a finance director at a multinational company.
Her demanding job meant she had to work at night even from home.
“One night, my daughter wanted to tell me about her day but I raised my voice at her and told her to go to bed as I was busy working. She started to cry.
“I stopped work and went to attend to her. After this incident, I started to manage my time better,” she said.
Valsala’s philosophy involved “never saying no” to her children. She believed it would make them rebellious and shut down. Instead, she reasoned with her children.
“My eldest daughter wanted to become a singer and I was sceptical about her future as she was an excellent student academically.
“But I just supported her dreams and later it was among the reasons for her acceptance into Harvard,” said Valsala, who is currently pursuing a doctorate.
