TAYLOR SWIFT vs KIMYE
The story: Remember that time when Kim Kardashian broke the Internet posing naked on the cover of a magazine? Well, last week she did it again, but this time with her clothes on.
On July 16, in conjuction with National Snake Day in the United States (it’s a legit day!), Kardashian released a series of Snapchat videos that sort of proved Swift gave consent to the lyrics to Kanye West’s Famous – you know, the song that Swift slammed.
Why snake? Well, snake = forked tongue = say one thing and mean another = Swift.
In the song, the rapper rants about how he and Swift might have sex and how he was responsible of making “that b***h famous”.
Yeah, this is kind of West’s way of apologising for his behaviour at the 2009 VMAs when he grabbed the microphone from Swift after she won the Best Female Video award and went “Imma let you finish ...” They patched things up after that incident ... or so we thought.
The feud reignited when Swift accepted her Album Of The Year award at this year’s Grammys and hinted that she doesn’t approve of West’s song.
“I want to say to all the young women out there, there are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame,” said Swift in her acceptance speech.
Now Kardashian didn’t like the fact that Swift gave her consent for the lyrics and then publicly shade her man. So, she whipped out the big guns and posted the Snapchat videos in which we could actually hear Swift saying that she finds the idea of West having sex with her a compliment.
The online community went wild and millions of Swifties found themselves questioning life after their leader was exposed as a liar.
To be fair, in the recording, we only heard Swift agreeing to some of the lyrics and but not the line that carries the b***h word.
Swift put out a lengthy post on Instagram explaining that she didn’t hear the full song, therefore cannot approve a song that she hasn’t heard. Swift ended the post by saying that she wants to be “excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of, since 2009.”
The verdict: Well, Snake, neither did we. Ten points for Kardashian for going where no one has gone before.
MARIAH CAREY vs NICKI MINAJ
The story: OK, so what do Carey and Minaj have in common? Here’s a hint: They’re inflated. Like beyond huge. If you guessed ego, then you’re right. If you thought of something else ... here’s a *snigger* for you.
If the producers of American Idol wanted drama on the show, they definitely got it when they hired these ladies for the show’s 12th season.
Actually, the producers kind of struck gold because, seriously, the feud was the only interesting thing about Idol that year.
Minaj got the ball rolling when she accussed Carey of acting like a diva during the tapings of the auditions. Fellow judge Randy Jackson had only so many “Yo Dawgs” and testosterone to keep the estrogen-filled panel in check. Oh, the other judge was Keith Urban.
The verdict: Minaj! The entire thing wouldn’t have started if Carey kept her diva antics to a minimum, and we all know that that’s simply impossible.
TUPAC vs NOTORIOUS B.I.G
The story: You cannot talk about 1990s hip-hop without mentioning two of the biggest music personalities of that era.
Tupac and Biggie Smalls started out as friends, but fame and the ill-advice of certain parties drove the two influential musicians apart.
Tupac accused Biggie and Puff Daddy (now known as Diddy) of an armed robbery and shooting in the lobby of a recording studio in 1994.
Tupac then released one of his most controversial songs Hit ‘Em Up in which he suggests that he will take out Biggie Smalls and his entire Bad Boy Records team.
Tupac was fatally shot on Sept 7, 1996 after attending the Bruce Seldon versus Mike Tyson boxing match in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Biggie’s paranoia doubled after Tupac’s death, fearing that the latter’s camp would pin him for the murder.
He lived in seclusion for about a year before he was shot in a drive by on March 9, 1997. No suspects were charged for the murders.
The verdict: We lost two of the most talented rappers for no actual reason. Gun violence is unnecessary.
CALVIN HARRIS vs ZAYN MALIK
Back when Harris thought that the sun shone out of Taylor Swift’s ... erm, eyes, he defended his lady friend when Malik seemingly dissed her.
The former One Direction member retweeted a post that implied Swift as greedy for pulling all of her music from Spotify.
An angry Harris tweeted: “You’ve made your money? Cool ... (expletive) the 99% of musicians who depend on these services to survive right?”
He added: “If u don’t get what it means when a successful artist uses their celebrity to benefit every other musician and songwriter in the industry ... stay out my mentions pls.”
Pretty boy Malik didn’t take it sitting down and replied: “ha you just made an absolute fool of yourself mate. you clearly didn’t understand what I just said either. so i suggest you calm your knickers before them dentures fall out.”
OK, that was funny.
The verdict: Harris is a real sweetheart for defending his love ... and why hasn’t Tom Hiddleston done the same yet?
SOLANGE KNOWLES vs JAY Z
The story: One shares her DNA with Beyonce and the other is married to her. So in case of an emergency, which one would Queen Bee save first? Neither, as evident during the 2014 Met Gala after-party incident that will forever be dubbed “Elevator-gate”.
Security footage from inside an elevator showed Beyonce’s sister, Solange, violently attacking Jay Z. Instead of trying to stop her sister or protect her husband, Bey just stood silently by the side, more worried that the security guard was stepping on the train of her dress.
Just Google it. The video is still there for all to see Solange punching and kicking her brother-in-law violently.
Rumour has it that the fight started because Solange suspected Jay Z of cheating on her sister with Rihanna ... although after Yonce’s Lemonade album, it could very well be with Becky with the good hair.
But the duo made peace and were even photographed a few days later hanging out like nothing happened. Weird.
The verdict: It must be tough being Beyonce ... or her sister ... or her husband.