Whenever I work with couples in therapy, I might suggest at some point for each person to think about their conflict and ask, “What’s missing in the middle?”
Most of us grow up learning that, when we see a problem, we fix the problem. We also learn that there’s a “right answer” to find. This works well when we’re trying to solve for “x” in algebra, or repairing an object that’s not functioning properly. Where it falls short is when we apply the “see problem, fix problem” mindset to people.
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