Creating a life of meaning and purpose is possible

None of us can do everything we want or would like to do, but we can choose to focus on the areas in which our strengths and talents can be best used in ways that offer something of importance and significance to our time, space, and place. — 123rf.com

These days there’s so much information and opportunities and possibilities to discover that it can feel overwhelming as we try to find our place in the world.

After reading a previous column on exploring the question, “Who am I?” one reader asked how we can decide what to focus on when there are countless options for relationships, careers, and creating meaning in life. It’s a good question and one that we can all relate to. In the past week alone, I’ve read and listened to several messages about health and well-being, and it’s difficult to know which to heed when they all seem so important. And that’s just on health. When we consider all the different aspects of our lives and take into account the many perspectives on how we should live and behave, it’s little wonder we can feel we’re stuck.

From the world of self-help, we’re told we have infinite possibilities and can do anything we set our minds to achieving. There’s always room to grow, to improve, to learn a new language or take up a new skill. As humans, there is no arrival point – there’s always something else to do or to achieve.

While this is true, another universal truth is that each of us has a finite time to live in this world. As much as I would love to captivate audiences across the world as a concert pianist, having certain limitations (including time) means I won’t achieve this. This might sound like something to despair over, but being aware of our finite time and limitations invites us to step away from trying to be all things to all people and towards considering how we can best make use of our time by putting our strengths and talents to what we want to make of our lives.

It also gives us space to breathe and let go of the pressure of “should-ing” ourselves into living up to expectations or ideas that don’t align with who we are. For example, when I was in school, my mother strongly encouraged me to become an accountant. After one year of study, I dropped out – it didn’t fit me at all and I knew I’d be miserable if I continued down that path.

Instead, I spent some time thinking about what I enjoyed and felt most fulfilled by, and I had some conversations with friends who gave me some helpful feedback that contributed to setting a different direction.

This will require some time and some trial and error exploring a few different avenues before a person, a career, a cause, or an interest resonates to the point it feels like the right fit for you. We’re often told what we should achieve and how life should be by certain ages and stages, but that’s not how life works out for many people.

Each of us has a different path and journey and, often, the sense of discontent or disconnect we feel can be due to the fact we are living in what the French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre called “bad faith”. Living in bad faith doesn’t mean that we’re a bad person. Rather, it describes our avoidance of discovering, understanding, and living a life that’s authentic to us, as opposed to living a life we feel we “should” be living even if it doesn’t quite feel right.

While there is so much the world can offer us, our limited time in it calls on us to think about who and what really matters to us. As I recently suggested to a friend, “It’s unlikely you can change the world, but you can make a big difference in your corner of the world”.

If we each have an existential responsibility, perhaps it’s to honestly consider our strengths and limitations and decide for ourselves how we can contribute to our corner of the world, whether that be within a relationship, cause, community, our work, or other parts of our lives we truly value.

None of us can do everything we want or would like to do, but we can choose to focus on the areas in which our strengths and talents can be best used in ways that offer something of importance and significance to our time, space and place.

Living in good faith, therefore, is to face the big questions and challenges that inevitably arise in our lives, and act in accordance with our values, beliefs, and hopes for ourselves. We needn’t change the world for our lives to matter, we only need to determine how to live a life that’s significant to us.

It’s right to say there are so many options open to us, and creating a life of meaning and purpose is about choosing some of those options and giving all we’ve got to the choices we make. Life then starts to feel more like our own, more authentic, and in line with who we really are.

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Sunny Side Up columnist Sandy Clarke has long held an interest in emotions, mental health, mindfulness and meditation. He believes the more we understand ourselves and each other, the better societies we can create. If you have any questions or comments, email [e-mail]. The views expressed here are entirely the writer's own.