Whatever you want to say about capitalism, efficiency is one of its hallmarks.
The invisible hand of the market is supposedly constantly at work, streamlining supply chains and optimising resources so that we can have fresh strawberries in December and a pocket-sized supercomputer that we mostly use to look at pictures of others people’s cats. Capitalism is a system designed to solve problems we didn’t know we had.
And then capitalism gives us Lego Crocs. If you haven’t seen these but know the companies Lego and Crocs, what you are imagining is 1,000% accurate. Crocs shaped like Lego bricks.
Ah yes, capitalism, that model of efficiency sometimes gets bored, spends too much time on a break, has a 14th coffee, and decides people want shoes shaped like giant bricks. They are literal plastic bricks, as you can see from the photo above. But Google them anyway, you need to see the photos of various people trying them.
They could be fun except they retail for more than RM1,000, which puts them firmly in the These Cost Enough That They Need to Be Useful category. From all accounts they aren’t. They’re uncomfortable, heavy, and have the aerodynamic profile of a dumpster.
To be fair capitalism does have its share of swings and misses. Lego Crocs aren’t unique in their craziness. There were Cheetos-Flavored Lip Balm, because the taste of artificial cheese is better when smeared on your lips? Consumers disagreed. And the giant fail of Bic for Hers pens. Which were pens made for women. Because.... I don’t really know the because here, I guess someone thought they had an idea, and now they’re officially off the ideas list.
The point is, sometimes we don’t know what we want until we get it. And maybe walking around with clunky rectangles on our feet is exactly what we were looking for. Maybe we didn’t want to move quickly and be comfortable when we walk. Is that the thesis at play here?
To be fair I’ll bet Lego Crocs are nicer to wear than wooden clogs. So ... if Lego Crocs had come out in the 12th century in the Netherlands, they might have taken the market by storm.
OK, I know you’ve probably read that Lego Crocs isn’t actually meant to be worn, they’re a collector’s item. For people with too much money and too much space, I would imagine. But I’ll postulate the same thesis. Who wanted this collectors item?
Yes, I know there is a bunch of rabid Lego fans out there, and they spend top dollar on Lego sets based on nostalgic things like Star Wars, Batman and even Nesquik. But all those things are Lego. And you build your favourite characters/scene out of Lego blocks and then look at them. I guess. I’m a lot of things but not one of those adults who collects toys and stands them on his desk. I’m not sure what to do with them. So yes, I am not the demographic.
But those collector sets mentioned above make sense. Who wanted a plastic brick with the optionality to wear it sitting on their shelf?
Honestly, this sounds less like the misfiring of the invisible hand of the market and more like the product designers of Lego and Crocs met at a conference, hit it off, had a few too many drinks, woke up on Monday morning and realised they had spontaneously designed Lego Crocs and, shrug, what else can we do but release it.
Not everything is meant to be a work of art.
Capitalism can give us self-driving cars and artificial intelligence that codes for us, but every once in a while it gives us something that lets us walk like a Lego Duplo character with two left feet.
And maybe there is value in that. I didn’t spend any money on Lego Crocs but it provided me with some fun while I looked at photos of people wearing them and trying to walk. And maybe that’s the point. In a world that believes we’re constantly on the precipice, maybe we need a few more things like Lego Crocs to give us a laugh before we get back to doom-scrolling and planning where to live when the world ends.
