How to introduce your pet to your romantic partner

Young people today are integrating their pets into their love lives. Photo: Freepik

For most single people with pets who are also navigating the dating world, their companion animals are family and introducing a new partner into the fold can get tricky.

Veterinarian Dr Daveshenee Darling Veera Solan, 26, has seen firsthand how pet behaviour can influence relationships, particularly for single pet owners looking for love.

“Most pets tend to become very attached to one person,” Daveshenee explains. “So, when you’re a single pet owner and you’re bringing someone new into their life, it’s not always smooth sailing.”

Pets’ primary bond is often with the individual who feeds and cares for them and provides the majority of their attention. This means that when a new person is in the picture, pets often experience a sense of anxiety and insecurity.

Daveshenee says joint effort is required to strengthen the relationship between a companion animal and a prospective partner. Photo: The Star/Low Lay Phon

“It’s like they’re protective of their person and environment, and when someone new enters, it stresses them,” Daveshenee adds. This often manifests in aggressive or fearful behaviours, which can complicate the dating process.

“Some common concerns come down to pet behaviour,” Daveshenee continues. “Most pets tend to be very jealous or exhibit aggressive behaviour such as biting or growling at the new person.”

These reactions often stem from fear of losing their owner’s attention, but can be alarming for a new partner who may not be familiar with animals or how to approach the situation.

These actions often lead to misunderstanding, particularly for new partners who may not yet be familiar with the pet’s personality or the dynamics at play.

“If someone is thinking about starting a family or eventually having children, pets that are aggressive or fearful of newcomers can be a big hurdle,” Daveshenee says. “You’ll start to think that your pet might harm them or make it difficult for you to move forward in your personal life.”

The impact of this behaviour can be especially challenging for single pet owners, who may already feel torn between their responsibilities to their pet and their desire to form new relationships.

“For many people, pets are like children,” Daveshenee notes. “You want them to feel secure, happy and comfortable in your home, but when you bring someone new in, it can feel like a betrayal to them.”

The right approach

Despite the challenges, Daveshenee stresses that these issues can often be worked through with the right approach.

“A lot of pet behaviour is about managing the introduction process correctly,” she advises. “If you take the time to properly introduce your pet to your new partner, give them space and ensure that both parties feel comfortable, things can improve.”

Daveshenee points out that it’s important not to rush the process, as forcing a relationship between a pet and a new partner can lead to further stress and potential conflict.

For single pet owners, one of the most important things to keep in mind when navigating the dating world is understanding their pet’s behaviour and knowing when to seek professional help.

“If the pet’s behaviour is really problematic, it might be worth consulting with a behavioural therapist who can provide strategies to help the pet adjust,” Daveshenee says.

Although challenging, it is possible to create a harmonious home with your romantic partner and your pet. Photo: The Star Infographic

Many pets can become more relaxed with time and proper training, but some may require additional support to ensure they can adapt to changes in their environment.

The key, Daveshenee suggests, is to view the process of introducing a new partner as a gradual one.“Pets are creatures of habit, and they need time to adjust to new people in their lives,” she says. “Don’t expect them to immediately warm up to a new partner. Be patient, be understanding and take things slowly.”

Daveshenee believes that with the right approach, it’s possible for pets and new partners to form their own bond, even if it takes time.

She also stresses that communication between partners is crucial. “If you’re dating someone who has a pet, be open to discussing the challenges that may arise with their behaviour. It’s important for both sides to be on the same page and for both partners to understand that the pet is not intentionally being aggressive, but rather expressing anxiety.”

For single pet owners who are embarking on new relationships, Daveshenee suggests that setting clear boundaries and expectations from the start is important. “Let your partner know the pet’s needs and quirks, and make sure they understand how to approach the pet in a way that minimises stress,” she says.

“It can be helpful to include your partner in the process of acclimating the pet to their presence, but always prioritise the pet’s comfort.” Daveshenee also highlights an important point: the success of the relationship doesn’t solely rest on the pet’s behaviour.

“The new partner needs to be capable of showing love and compassion for the animal,” she says.

“Understanding and respect for the pet’s role in their owner’s life is crucial for any potential relationship to thrive,” she concludes.