Plenty of people find the love of their life through the wide of variety of dating apps and websites out there. But it can take persistence, and there are ways of making success more likely.
Searching for a partner online can be a soul-destroying business. But if you find that your posts are always answered by people you’d really rather not meet, or you’ve been on a hundred disastrous dates, don’t despair – there are things you can do to improve your chances.
Firstly, it’s important to be realistic, and remember that many people signed up to online dating sites don’t take them too seriously.
“Dating apps are often seen as a bit of entertainment rather than the search for the love of your life”, says Eric Hegmann, a consultant for the dating platform Parship, warning that many people just use dating apps to boost their egos.
Experts say it’s often the case that two people who appear to be made for one another do not make contact. This is usually because people have a tendency to sit back and wait for someone else to make the first move.
The advice is to be proactive and take the initiative if you like the look of someone – and that goes for men and women. Hegmann says braver women who just decide to “go for it” are more likely to be successful.
Along with the courage needed to do that, it’s important to find the right way to start the conversation. Experts recommend putting more effort into the initial contact, for example by including references to profile pictures and texts.
It’s also important to pay attention to what others say in their profiles. It’s quite common for people to make it clear they’re only interested in one-night stands. Don’t ignore that and expect long-term commitment from them – if you do, you’re going to be disappointed.
Bad experiences are likely to lead to people becoming more picky about potential dates. Experts say this often leads people to include things in their own profile that shows what sort of person they’re not looking for.
Hegmann says this can be helpful if done in the right way.
“The intention is good, ” he says “because people are trying to protect themselves. But it can come across as negative, and we tend to fall in love with people who seem friendly and open to us.”
Rather than saying what you don’t want, tell potential partners more about the things you actually do want. – dpa