My girlfriend constantly has the urge to crush things. No, she doesn’t suffer from anger management issues, she just wants to hug cute things – hug them to death.
That doesn’t bode well for our dog who basically looks like a live-action stuffed teddy bear. She pets him, squeezes him and pinches his cheeks, all while saying things like: ‘I want to hug you till you pop’, and ‘You’re so cute I’ll squeeze you until you die’. And all the while the dog just sits there happily with his tongue out, not understanding these threats on his life.