Papa and Mama still parenting in their senior years

Have you experienced your toddler whispering “mama …” when in the cradle, whilst tossing and turning in between a string of belly snores and with saliva drooling down one cheek, acknowledging your presence?

Have you heard your sick child struggling to utter “maamaaaa …,” due to unbearable pain of an illness, in the hope that his almighty Mama could do something to help?

For those who have had the best experience of motherhood – breastfeeding – you will not miss the sight of your baby pulling off after a contented feed, with a drowsy yawn as the last drop of breast milk rolls off the corner of his tiny lips, and he dozes off to sleep.

All these are heart-tugging experiences that all parents, shall I say … will not and must not miss.

Parenting requirements change as the child grows. When the child turns 40, Papa and Mama who once had to juggle and struggle between work and parenting, are now retired. The child who was once drinking from Mama’s breast is now breastfeeding her own baby. Papa and Mama are now instead, focused on ensuring that their child does not need to get engulfed in the same dilemma that once confronted Papa and Mama, that is to choose between career and family.

As a result, Papa and Mama continue to work harder by providing the best support in babysitting their grandchildren so that the child gets the best of both worlds. Papa and Mama do not get paid, neither do they get days off. Sometimes, the “job” comes with laundry services, chauffeuring and errands, not to forget the nutritious warm meal on the table every night.

To top it all off, when either Papa or Mama are down with the first symptoms of sickness, the first thought that comes to mind is not which doctor to visit but how babysitting can remain uninterrupted, just so that their 40-year-old child can continue with life.

At times, at 40, career demands are challenging. When work entails late nights, Papa and Mama jump into action once an SOS text message is received All the message says is “I will be late.”

I am the lucky child who has now turned 40; I am the blessed mummy too at 40.

Papa and Mama made it possible for me to have the best of both worlds - career and family. When I went back to work with total peace of mind after sending the text, it never crossed my mind that the words “Please tuck the little ones in” and “Thank you” were blatantly missing from my message.

That night I worked late to close a critical project. I chose to alert Papa instead of my husband, for a simple reason. I knew only Papa would wait up. True enough, midnight passed and I was nowhere close to packing up. I sent the phone text message to Papa again. Not only did Papa give me updates on the bedtime stories for the little ones, he also kept tabs on my progress through frequent text messages, at even intervals. He checked on how many colleagues were left with me, he reminded me to drive safely in the wee hours and also to let him know when I walked into the lonely car park. Papa insisted that he did not sleep early – it was only … 2am, after all.

By 3am, I left the office. I did all he told me to like when I was a child, sending him a text every step of the way. He rang me in anxiety to check on my location, as according to the minutes that had ticked on his watch, I ought to have arrived.

By the time I stepped through the doors, it was nearly 4am. There was Papa sitting on the couch with the phone in hand, with sleepy eyes, but obviously relieved that I was home. And, next to him was Mama, also waiting for my safe return, with a warm bowl of soup kept from dinner.

I have always been proud of my role as a mother, as much as I am thankful for being given the chance to experience all the heart-tugging experiences of motherhood. At the split second when I saw not only Papa, but Mama, sitting in the living room, flickers of disbelief ignited within me, mixed with hues of embarrassment and gratitude.

I was ashamed with the little that I had done in comparison, both for my children and for my parents.

Chuah Yean Ping is a mother of two young toddlers