New mums are always overanxious

First-time mothers tend to be very nervous and too cautious with everything - health, development milestones, and especially situations that we have never encountered before.

We always think of the worst things that could happen and when there is anything suspicious all we want to do is go to the paediatrician straightaway. In most cases, it turns out that we parents are over-reacting. But how can we not worry as we have totally no experience in parenting! Moreover, people around such as our mothers, mothers-in-law, cousins, neighbours, aunties, uncles, etc, would make us feel that we cannot handle the baby!

They usually give us advice, tips or sometimes, even funny suggestions.

When my baby boy was having jaundice, I got suggestions like bathe him in Guiness Stout beer and in Chinese herbal water. Worst, some said to let the baby drink herbal soup (my boy was only a week old!) .

After the phototherapy session, my baby’s blood test showed he was normal but he still looked yellow. Coincidently I was diagnosed with breast abscess at the same time. Voices and recommendations came again: Stop breastfeeding. Your milk is contaminated, that’s why your baby is yellow.

So, I went to see three paediatricians and they all told me that my child's yellowish complexion would go away and assured me that I had nothing to worry about. There were reasons that my boy looked yellow but it was certainly not because of the “contaminated” milk.

The “contaminated” part would wall up so it would not affect the breast milk. I also found out that there was a type of jaundice caused by breast milk, which was probably my case, and the solution was to substitute my baby's milk for a few days. That worked, and my boy’s yellowish complexion was gone and he became very fair after that.

When I started breastfeeding exclusively, my boy was not having normal bowel movements. He did not pass motion every day, he did not have constipation and the longest record was 16 days straight! We went to see the paediatrician but got the same answer: Breastfed babies can be like that. As long as he acts normal, then there is no need to worry.

Although I could not stop worrying about it, again the paediatricians were right. Nothing wrong with him, he just did not want to pass motion - what a diaper-savvy boy!

Here is another example: When my boy had his first fever. The paediatrician told us it was just a minor fever and not to worry. My boy did not even need the medication!

After so many incidents and lessons in two years, now I learn to be more at ease and observe before I take any action. The only person who is still worrying is my mum. She keeps comparing my boy to other toddlers his age. Why is he learning so slowly? The boy next door is already talking like a little chatterbox!

I believe babies grow at their own pace; they learn when they are ready. So, mums, stop worrying!

Tan Sook Fern