Power of three

I have always looked up to my dad as my role model. And I’ve been amazed by his patience, strength and perseverance in bringing up my sisters and me. That is why I have the highest regard for him. It is from this man of few words that I have learned the importance of humility and respect.

My father never boasts and he exhorts us not to. You will know he is trying to teach you something when he starts his sentence with “In life ...”

When my son Kasper was born, I met the second and third coolest guys I’ve known at the same time.

The first is my son; and the second, the gynaecologist, an absolutely focused and composed doctor who says the most reassuring things.

Thirty minutes before Kasper was born, he remained seated outside the labour room reading the newspaper. His back was facing me and with his legs crossed, for a moment there I imagined him to be Phua Chu Kang, what with the white shirt and black pants he was wearing, and the shower cap-like hat and bright yellow rubber boots he had on as he read The Star. How cool was that?

From there, my life was changed forever.

I used to be able to sleep very soundly to the point where it was near-impossible to wake me up, even if the speakers were blaring out Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit next to me. However, on Kasper’s first night home, I was awakened by his very soft and tender hiccups.

Ever since that night, I could no longer sleep as soundly. As with most newborns, the first six months were the most tiring for us parents. But, every new gesture from Kasper would set things right again.

During this period of my crash course in fatherhood, the two most satisfying achievements I made were:

1. When I managed to make him burp after his milk or a meal. To achieve this I had to gently stroke and pat his back until he burped. Sometimes, it could take up to 15 to 20 minutes.

2. When I was able to serenade him to sleep.

And, I have not even mentioned the changing of diapers, washing him and all that. But of all that I have done during the first six months, the two listed above would remain my greatest satisfaction for many years to come. A father in today’s world has to be totally hands-on. As boys will be boys, they will climb up and down, run everywhere, shouting and kicking. Sometimes I wondered if I was ever like that, and how my dad tolerated me.
 

I am grateful that my wife has stayed home to watch Kasper grow during these few years. She was able to capture the milestones in his life, like when he took his first step and when he first uttered “Mama” and “Papa.”

Kasper will have to learn humility and respect, like I did from my father. If he knows how to be humble, he will not be proud and he will not brag. If he knows the values of respect and how to earn it from his peers, seniors and juniors, then he will know how to behave amongst people.

For now, Kasper is learning new things each day. He looks and he observes, and then he tries to emulate. Perhaps that is how they learn best.

Like I said earlier, my life was changed forever and the gynaecologist is still one of the three coolest guys I know, along with my dad and Kasper, of course!