A RETIRED teacher came to our learning programme and asked how we teach children with their different needs and capabilities.
I answered: “We expect different results from each child. We allow their differences to come to light in their work.”
In her book, Intellectual Emergencies: Some Reflections On Mothering And Teaching, Lilian Katz, an educationist, wrote: “I think the great struggle of our time is the struggle for equality.
But we might ask: equality for what? People are not equally tall or musical or mathematical or athletic or beautiful; but they are equally human!”
Children with special needs have dreams and aspirations, just like any other children. They, too, want to be recognised and respected for who they are and what they can do. They deserve to have the same dignity as everyone else.
Children learn at different paces and develop their skills differently. Adults have to stop putting children in categories of those who can and those who cannot. Learning should be personalised.
Every child has his or her own gifts. It is known that even twins are not completely alike in their learning behaviours. We want to be able to give them the opportunity to showcase their strengths and help them work on their weaknesses.
If we truly want to give equality to all children, then we must start by accepting children as different as they come. All children are educable. They just need our support in helping them reach their aims.
Children can achieve what they set out to do. Some take a longer time while others breeze through. Parents and teachers who want to lend a hand must customise to their needs. Making all children go through the same teaching drill can cause many to lose interest and even fail.
One teacher said: “We should talk less at all times in our teaching. Do less and let children do more.” They will let you know what they need and when they need it. We just have to be observant.
I observed a group of five-year-old boys playing together. They reached a deadlock and started to disagree. Instead of fighting it out, one boy walked up and said to me: “He (pointing at another child) refuses to play like all of us.”
I told him: “Tell him that you don’t like it when he refuses to cooperate.” He nodded and went back to his group. There was no fight at the end.
If I had interfered with his problem by taking over, I would say to both children: “You have to play nicely. If you do not, then I have to stop you from playing.” Children learn nothing from this intrusion. Eventually, they conclude that they are helpless without adults making the decisions for them.
Children can behave appropriately if they are equipped with the right tools to solve problems. Parents who are constantly hovering over their children, forget that they can do things for themselves. We can demonstrate the best possible ways to work and let children be independent.
They can pour their own drinks. Sometimes they may spill their drinks but with practice, they will master the skill. Teenagers can take charge of their lives. They have to be trusted and respected to do so.
Their choices may differ from their parents’. I know many parents who are reluctant to allow their children to choose for themselves. They are sceptical that their children who lack maturity and experience in life, can ever make good decisions.
Respecting children means sharing decision-making with them. There are the absolute decisions that parents must make for their children. These are the ones that concern safety and health. Your child cannot just decide that he is going to run across the road precariously. Nor can he decide to eat junk food for breakfast because he has the right to choose.
Children need to learn responsibilities. This is where positive role-models make a difference in their learning.
Parents can influence children’s decisions and choices. They just have to do what is right by their children. If the adults show how they uphold values and beliefs, the children will also follow suit. Learn more if you feel you are inadequate to offer more to your child.
The world is changing fast. We cannot prepare our children for a world that we ourselves have not experienced. We can only give them the tools to meet future challenges. They need to have strong characters. For this, they need to keep their will.
Children must have self-awareness. They need to know how to equip themselves with the right skills and make their own decisions that will affect them in the future. As creativity expert Sir Ken Robinson says, the only way to achieve this is to make sure that we raise our children with their diversity intact and full of confidence.
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