Giving back can take many forms. When money isn’t an option, time, care and support matter just as much. — Pexels
Inan earlier article, I wrote about having purpose in retirement and how that is essential to how fantastic retirement should be. I also highlighted a human being’s default purpose: To grow and give. This is something that can be done in perpetuity for the rest of our lives, as long as our brains are hale and healthy.
Many retirees may wonder what “giving” looks like for them. Living on modest savings that must be carefully managed, some worry whether their funds will last the rest of their lives – leaving little room, they feel, to give. Giving back to the world
Giving, in this context, does not just mean giving monetary funds to charities or bodies that need our aid. In fact, you do not need to give any money to anyone if you don’t have enough for yourself.
Giving in this context mostly means giving your time and aid to those in need.
In your working life or for most of your adult life, you were busy earning a living for your family.
You also may have been a homemaker, so you were busy bringing up your family. You may have been so busy with life that you didn’t have time to exercise or take care of yourself, let alone carving enough energy to give back to the world.
When you are retired, you may suddenly be left with a lot of time. You are wondering how to fill your days.
This is when many older people, my friends and family member included, fall into the trap of thinking, “I’m too old. I will now sit down and watch TV for most of the day.”
This is an absolute no-no for both your mental and physical health purposes!
It is a surefire path to increasing your risk of dementia and physical illnesses that affect your mobility and quality of life.
So if you choose a purpose of giving back to the world, there are many ways you can do this without expending a lot of your hard-earned money.
Happiness in giving
A Chinese saying goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.”
Indeed, for centuries, it is known that happiness is found in helping others. But is there a scientific basis behind this?
Altruism is actually hardwired into our brain. Altruism is pleasurable.
The University of Chicago Booth School of Business and Northwestern University Kellogg School of Management in the United States conducted a series of experiments to see which brought the longest lasting joy: Giving a gift to yourself, or, giving a gift to others.
In an experiment, 96 participants received US$5 (RM20.30) every day for five days. They were then randomly assigned to either spend the money on themselves or on someone else.
The only caveat is that if they choose to give to someone else (as either a donation or a tip jar), they have to give in the exact same way each time for the five days.
The findings are that those who repeatedly gave to others, even if it was the exact same way, experienced greater joy. More importantly, that joy did not decline even on the fifth day. It was as strong as it was on the first day.
You know this to be true. When you perform a good deed for someone else, this activates the regions of your brain associated with pleasure, social connection, and trust.
Giving here also means that you don’t expect anything in return. It is a true selfless act of sharing what you can with other people without reciprocation.
Oxytocin is then released. Oxytocin is also known as the “bonding” hormone, the very one that releases milk from a mother to her baby. Oxytocin lowers your blood pressure and reduces stress. There is warm, glowing effect that floods your brain with joy and contentment. Endorphins are also released, similar to “the runner’s high”? This is called “the Helper’s high”.
Research has shown that people who volunteer or donate to charitable causes frequently live longer, healthier, and better. They suffer from less aches and pains.
Your purpose in your community
Helping your community or the world at large: You can take your pick.
My friend, Jon, is huge on giving back to the world. He joined Befrienders, an organisation that hosts volunteers who patiently speak to people who are on the verge of suicide and try to guide them to find a better way.
He also teaches English to aborigine children. The ways he finds to give back to the world seem to be endless.
“Do you have to go through a course to be a Befriender?” I asked.
“Definitely. I went through six months of training.”
Many of my friends who are part of churches, temples, and mosques help out whenever they can in their place of worship.
My friend, Bee Chin, told me about teaching Geography to refugee children.
“My temple organises it. The children come from mostly Myanmar. I volunteered to teach them Geography.”
I was amazed. “Geography? Do you have to have a qualification in it?”
“I only ever learned Geography in secondary school, so that’s my qualification,” she said happily.
I would imagine that she knows her geography well. After all, she goes around the world climbing mountains like Everest Base Camp and the highest peaks of China.
As for me, I volunteered to help out in something I can relate to: Cancer. Both my parents had cancer. My mother-in-law had cancer. Two of my uncles had cancer. My aunt had cancer. There are plenty of non-profit cancer organisations whose objective is to help cancer patients. I volunteered for one that is closest to where I live.
“What can you do for us?” the general manager of the Breast Cancer Welfare Association asked me.
I thought of all my skills in my work life.
“Well, I can talk fairly well. I can speak about cancer. I can also run courses on happiness – mind, body, and soul. Cancer patients may be depressed, and I can help them find purpose again so that they won’t be thinking too much about their disease.”
They handed me a patient booklet. “We need someone to update the information in this booklet. Since you are a doctor, do you think you can do that?”
“Of course!”
My friend, May, also volunteers to help out with cancer because she has a son who had leukemia as a baby and survived it to be a proud university student today. She helps out in hospitals, counselling patients and their relatives on options and what to do for certain symptoms and complications. She also helps them seek out different forms of financial aid as cancer can be a very costly disease.
“I know what it’s like as a mother who went through it, so I must give back to the world now.”
Her sons are extremely proud of her. One of them is studying to be a doctor in Ireland.
“I want to be just like you,” he told her. “I want to give back to the world too.”
Lynette Moey dedicates her writing to retirees and people who are thinking of retiring, but are afraid to take the plunge. The opinions expressed in this article are entirely the writer’s own.
