Pfrüner, audiobiographer and staff member at Family Audio Book, at a recording studio where she and a team help terminally ill parents make audio books for their youngsters. — Photos: OLIVER BERG/dpa
BENEDIKT Bodendorf says he won’t be around to see his 16-month old daughter grow up.
A Cologne native, he has been battling acute lymphatic leukaemia since 2016. Twice he received stem cell transplants. He had nearly five years of remission, but now it’s back.
At 34, he is now in maintenance therapy – with the hope that something will still happen in research. “All this triggered very dark thoughts in me. I was afraid that my daughter would never really know me.”
What should my child need to know about me? he wondered. He thought she should know where he is from, how he grew up, “what drives me. My hobbies. My embarrassing stories – which perhaps my wife doesn’t even know yet.”
At some point he talked about it with a psycho-oncologist. “When he heard about my fear, he said that colleagues told him about the family audio book.”
These are audio biographies made by mothers and fathers for their children when it is likely that they will not be around to see them through to adulthood.
A “gift for the ears of the future,” as the initiative’s website puts it.
The family audio book was founded by journalist Judith Grümmer. The idea matured in her mind over many years, she says in the studio in Cologne where many of the audio books are produced.
In 2017, the project took on a concrete form and is now backed by a team of five permanent employees, 60 freelancers and 20 volunteers. The “audiobiographers,” who advise the participants like a director and coach, are particularly important. All undergo special training and are joined by technicians, psychologists and graphic artists.
The costs for an audio book with a maximum of 100 working hours start at around US$5,275 (RM25,253). This is all financed by the individual and company donations plus some temporary funding commitments.
More and more requests are coming in, while the project only just has enough funding, says Grümmer. “We all worry about the waiting list. Because waiting – our participants don’t have time for that.”
Grümmer, founder of the family audio book, here pictured at the recording studio.
A personal message
Sometimes participants die before they make it to finish the audio book. One young mother died a day after her recording was finished.
Another time, a mother of three young children only had one weekend left to complete the audio book because she knew she was due for brain surgery the following Tuesday, which would affect her speech capacities. She managed to record the audio book in time.
“I thought it was a very nice idea to be able to leave a personal message for the bereaved,” says Bodendorf. “So that my daughter knows: who was Dad, what did he do?” After he applied to Grümmer, everything happened very quickly. In terms of structure, he wanted to proceed chronologically. The point was to tell his story.
His audio biographer was Selina Pfrüner. “It was a very, very nice relationship that we built up,” he says. At one point, for example, he talked about how he grew up with cassettes and video tapes.
“Selina would sometimes hold up a card with the message ‘more explicit’ or ‘more accurate.’ Then I tried to explain it better, because it’s also a kind of testimony. I’m sure my daughter won’t know a cassette recorder anymore.” He has to laugh when he thinks back on it.
Pfrüner recalls the mischievousness in Bodendorf’s voice as he recounts his life. He spent a lot of time describing his youth, the things that fascinated him back then, because ultimately that’s what shapes you throughout your life: “I’m more of a nerd pop culture person. I started using computers at an early age, and played World of Warcraft excessively during my school years.”
He told his daughter what was cool about it, but also what the negative sides were. “Then I tried to introduce her to my other hobbies: Board games, card games, bike rides. You talk about yourself like that and sometimes digress to lots of other topics.”
Schmitz, sound engineer and employee at Family Audio Book.
How I met your mother
Next chapter: studying mathematics. “That’s also where I met my wife. So that’s where the story of how we met comes in.” At some point, it was on to 2016, “and then there’s the beast, the illness. There were a few very emotional chapters, just to make it clear: What is this that I’m struggling with here?”
He says his daughter is starting to notice this, young though she is. “I’m still undergoing treatment and can’t do a lot of things the way I’d like to do them as a dad.”
Finally, he reaches the present. As bonus material, he also set to music the first chapter of one of his favourite children’s books, A Bear Called Paddington.
Now the audio book is in the editing stage. It is lavishly accompanied by music and sounds, almost like a radio play. “It’s as individual as the individual person,” says sound technician Sitara Schmitz.
Project participants go through a maturing or development process during the recording, says Grümmer, Audiobooks’ founder.
“They begin to deal with their mortality in a different way once again. And they realise that – although they are still young – they have already lived a rich life.” That helps a little to make peace with the impending end.
Bodendorf’s audio book is called I – Simply Incorrigible. One of the pieces of advice he gave his daughter is: “You can eat 40 sushi, but you won’t feel well afterwards.” – dpa
