Banned from education, 'idle' Afghan girls are married off


By AGENCY
  • Family
  • Saturday, 26 Nov 2022

Maryam says not once did she think she would have to stop studying and become a housewife. Photos: Wakil Kohsar/AFP

Thirteen-year-old Zainab should have been shopping for a new school uniform this autumn but, with no prospect of girls' schools reopening in Afghanistan, she was instead forced to pick out a wedding dress.

Since the Taliban seized power in Kabul and banned teenage girls from education, many have been married off – often to much older men of their father's choice.

"I cried a lot and kept telling my father that the Taliban would reopen girls' schools," Zainab said.

"But he said that's not going to happen, and it's better that I get married rather than sit idle at home."

Her wedding date was fixed within hours of the would-be groom arriving with an offer of a few sheep, goats, and four sacks of rice as a bride price – a centuries-old custom for many in rural Afghanistan.

As is traditional, Zainab moved in with her new in-laws and husband – who is 17 years older than her.

Maryam carrying fruits on a tray after an interview with AFP, at a house in Charikar, Parwan province.Maryam carrying fruits on a tray after an interview with AFP, at a house in Charikar, Parwan province.

"Nobody asked for my opinion," she said.

Afghanistan is the only country in the world where girls are banned from going to secondary school.

Together with economic crisis and deep-rooted patriarchal values, many parents have accelerated the marriage of teenage daughters who have been mostly confined to their homes since the Taliban stopped their education.

"At my parent's house, I used to wake up late... here, everybody scolds me," Zainab said from the Taliban's power base of Kandahar.

"They say, 'We have spent so much on you and you don't know how to do anything'."

Parents increasingly feel there is no future for girls in Afghanistan, said Mohammad Mashal, the head of a teachers' association in the western city of Herat.

"They feel it is better girls get married and start a new life," he said.

Qadir, Maryam's father, had intended to let Maryam and her sisters study for degrees before searching for suitors.Qadir, Maryam's father, had intended to let Maryam and her sisters study for degrees before searching for suitors.

When the Taliban took back control of the country in August last year, there was brief hope they would allow more freedom for women compared to their brutal, austere rule of the 1990s.

But a planned reopening of girls' schools in March by the ministry of education was axed by the secretive supreme leader Hibatullah Akhundzada.

Officials claim the ban is temporary but have wheeled out a litany of excuses for the closures.

For many girls, it is already too late.

'Now I wash dishes'

A team of AFP journalists interviewed several girls who have either married or become engaged in recent months.

Their real names are withheld for their safety.

"Never did I think I would have to stop studying and instead become a housewife," said 16-year-old Maryam.

"My parents have always supported me, but in this situation, even my mother could not oppose my marriage."

She studied to grade six in a village, after which her father moved the family to the nearby town of Charikar, just north of Kabul, where his children could pursue higher education.

"Instead of studying, I now wash dishes, wash clothes and mop the floor. All this is so hard," she said as she served breakfast to her father Abdul Qadir, 45.

Qadir had intended to let Maryam and her sisters study for degrees before searching for suitors.

"I wanted them to complete university education because I had worked hard for it and already spent so much money on them," he said.

Living in a rented apartment, Qadir – whose salary from a government job has been almost halved under Taliban rule – has had to sell some household items to feed his family.

"In Afghanistan, girls do not get many opportunities, and proposals for marriage stop coming after a time," he said.

"My previous experience of the Taliban tells me they will not reverse their decision."

Even if a reversal of policy was to come, it would be meaningless to Maryam.

"The first person to oppose my education will be my husband. He will be physically violent with me," she said.

Early marriage can often lead to a lifetime of suffering for girls and women.

After their father died from Covid-19, sisters Sarah (right) and Fatima felt that they should get married and not be a burden to their family.After their father died from Covid-19, sisters Sarah (right) and Fatima felt that they should get married and not be a burden to their family.

Such marriages are particularly common in rural areas of Afghanistan where dowries given to brides' families are a vital source of income.

Experts say education is pivotal in delaying the weddings of girls, and with it childbearing that comes with a higher rate of infant mortality and maternal deaths at a young age.

A girl is a 'burden'

The Taliban have imposed severe restrictions on women, forcing them to comply with the group's austere vision of Islam.

Women have been told to cover up with the hijab or preferably with an all-encompassing burqa when in public or, better still, to leave home only if absolutely necessary.

Afghanistan's aid-dependent economy has collapsed since the exit of foreign forces, leaving hundreds of thousands without jobs and half its 38 million people facing hunger, aid agencies say.

In a twisted sense of sacrifice, some young women are offering themselves up for marriage to help alleviate the financial load.

"(My father) did not force me, but the situation was such that I accepted a proposal and got engaged," said 15-year-old Sumayya in the capital, Kabul.

Sisters Sara, 20, and Fatima, 19, had been months away from sitting university entrance exams when their high school was closed, leaving them unable to graduate.

With the family in crisis after their father died from Covid-19, they declared one after the other that the search for husbands should begin.

"My conscience tells me that it's better to marry than be a burden on my family," Fatima said. – AFP

Follow us on our official WhatsApp channel for breaking news alerts and key updates!
   

Next In Family

Cot, pram, high chair: When is it time to graduate to big kid stuff?
Young artist gives free fluid art classes to elderly in memory of late grandma
Katz Tales: Rise of the executive fat cat
In-home euthanasia for pets provides comfort and dignity
Starchild: Why Malaysian children are looking forward to celebrating Hari Raya
Heart and Soul: A tribute to Dr Jayaraman Munusamy
After retirement, every ringgit counts
Something new, something old this Raya
StarSilver: What's the path to lasting joy?
How co-viewing content with kids can help parents bond with them

Others Also Read