Lynn H, 35, from Penang, is a diligent worker and enjoys her job as a property sales executive. But she is uncomfortable when asked to accompany her male colleagues for drinks and other activities after working hours “for networking purposes”.
“It’s expected as part of the job requirements for a salesperson to ‘network and entertain clients’, but it can be difficult as a woman because sometimes ‘more’ is expected from male clients and turning them down when they ask for a drink, date, or something else, might mean losing a sale,” shares Lynn.
Of course, entertaining clients also eats into her family time, she admits.
Besides having a full-fledged career, working women often have to play the role of a caregiver as well as perform the roles of wife/partner, mother, daughter and granddaughter.
Although Lynn still has to do her part to network with her clients after office hours, she is grateful that some of her male colleagues have rallied around to support and help circumvent any awkward situations when she has to do so.
“Some of them are real gentlemen and more switched on (intuitive). They’ve accompanied me to ensure I was ok and the clients wouldn’t try anything funny,” she says.
Women often can’t be social the way men do because they carry a multitude of other responsibilities. It can also be unsafe.
So, while it is important to carve out support networks and opportunities where women can shine at the workplace it is also important for male colleagues to step up and be allies, says AMTD Digital chief information and operating officer Osman Ershad Faiz.
“Being a male ally to women is not easy. You need to first understand that women face different challenges from men and create opportunities for them to shine,” says Osman.
“Women might not have as much time for after office activities like their male colleagues such as going out for drinks, networking, and others, even though this does make a difference when it comes to visibility and being selected for promotion or key projects,” he points out.
Osman also highlights how women often face subtle forms of sexism, prejudices, or exclusion at work. So it’s important for male allies to step up to provide mentorship and advice to other men so that they can also be advocates of gender equality at the workplace.
He was speaking at the recent Women Of Our Time virtual conference held across two days in conjunction with International Women’s Day. The event featured speakers from all over the world who shared their personal struggles and stories in smashing boundaries, shattering stereotypes, overcoming gender inequality and promoting women empowerment.
In his work as a thought leader and ally for diversity and inclusion, Osman has been recognised by Yahoo Finance, Financial Times and INvolve as a global Top 50 Champion of Women in Business and Top 40 Male Advocate in 2018, 2019 and 2020 respectively, and in the HERoes Top 35 Advocate Executives in 2021.
Praise to raise
But, these gains can only be attainable with the cooperation and support male colleagues, mentors, and sponsors, said a report (Men as Allies: Engaging Men to Advance Women in the Workplace) by the Center for Women and Business, Bentley University.
In the report, the authors suggest that to be allies, male colleagues must “have honest conversations – men need to ask their female colleagues and especially their female subordinates about the barriers they face at work and home”.
However, the report also acknowledged that it wasn’t easy to get men, even those who are advocates for inclusion and equality, to speak up and act on behalf of women.
“There are many factors discouraging men from taking action as allies,” said the report. “These include apathy, fear, lack of leadership support, lack of time, and a belief that the problem is too daunting. Another deterrent is the notion that 'we’ve made progress and we are done'. This can be related to fatigue; advocates often become discouraged when progress feels too slow.”
Men can start by acknowledging the input and performance of their female colleagues.
“We need to ‘praise to raise’,” says Osman.
“There are many capable women out there but they may lack confidence. They may have self-doubt and even an ‘imposter syndrome’ (doubting their own abilities and feeling unworthy).
“One of the ways to help is to publicly acknowledge their efforts and celebrate their accomplishments.
“Show them sincerely that you appreciate their contribution. That’s the fastest way to build confidence and once you get the confidence, it has a magical way of compounding,” he says.
Allies also need to create a safe environment for women in the workplace.
“Let them know you’ve got their back. We must work together to create a safe environment where women are given equal opportunity to lead and succeed as this will benefit the company as a whole,” says Osman.
He adds that there is also a need for more inclusive and equitable hiring policies, as well as greater female leadership and representation in the boardroom.
“We must work to smash that boardroom glass ceiling and close the gender pay wage gap. From awareness, there must be action,“ he says.
“Male allyship is important and I’m proud to be an advocate for the women I work with, to raise awareness that women face different challenges and social pressures from men, and to create the right support networks and a safe environment for women to speak up. And, to acknowledge their efforts and celebrate their accomplishments,” he concludes.
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