Since I was little, I have experienced emotional and physical abuse inflicted by my father. At first he did not hit me, but I hated seeing my mum and older brothers and sister getting beat up. As I grew older, I started to get the same exact treatment as my mum whenever she messed up.
My dad is hot-tempered and I am so afraid that I will turn out like him when I grow up. The thought of that makes me anxious to the max because it is in my blood. I am so afraid of turning into my dad when I grow up because I’ve been told that I am just like him as I also have a temper. Whenever I get angry, it is hard to control myself from doing the things that I know I’ll regret later. In the moment, however, I am just so fired up that my mind can’t tell me what to do anymore. I hate myself to the core for being just like my dad, but a part of me is somehow wired to act like that and it worries me every single time.
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