'In case my look and outfit didn't clue you in already, I'm the conflicted bad guy in this little drama.' Photos: Handout
For a fantasy drama that makes casual "meta" references to the Marvel Cinematic Universe – notably to series star Ma Dong-seok's turn in The Eternals, though there is a Red Hulk "cameo" of sorts somewhere in there too – one would think a show like Twelve is not the type to take itself too seriously.
Alas, it does. So much, and so intensely, that this eight-part series seems like 16.
It revolves around 12 angels representing the different animals in the Eastern zodiac, who once fought to keep the forces of evil from overrunning the world.
When their battle was won at the cost of four of their number, they relinquished their powers to live out eternity among mortals.
Wait. They won? Insert "could've fooled me" emoji here.
'Hey! Don't push me or you'll find out why they call me One Punch Ma.'
So, anyway: at this point in the 21st century, they ply a loansharking trade, funding only criminals for some obscure and unconvincing purpose.
Their leader, Tae-san (Ma) or the "tiger angel", spends his days reminiscing while going around laying the smackdown on deadbeat borrowers.
The others, who haven't developed immediately recognisable distinguishing traits over the millennia, spend their time eating, joking and making money off their shady business.
Until, that is, Ultimate Evil in the form of crow demon Ogwi (Park Hyung-sik, Happiness, Suits, Strong Girl Bong-soon) is brought back into the world by next-most-evil dude Samin (Kim Chan-hyung).
Suddenly, evil spirits – basically black-clad goons masking up against Covid – pop up inexplicably wherever the angels gather, beating them to a pulp since, you know, the good guys are powerless and all. Though some of them appear to have vestiges of power – make up your minds already, people.
The evil ones' target seems to be Mirr (Lee Joo-bin), the "dragon angel", for reasons that become clear only after several repetitious beatdowns and narrow escapes.
'Check out our cool ancient weapons. We're about to get medieval on your @$$.'
The heroes' jovial gatherings gradually deteriorate into morose moments filled with brooding, lamentation and despair; with even the stalwart Tae-san sinking into the mire as the few humans he cares for become targets as well.
Given the many issues I had with Twelve's pacing and structure, I was surprised to learn that one of the co-directors is Kang Dae-gyu – who was responsible for the manipulative but tear-inducing 2020 drama Pawn (which also starred Sung Dong-il, who appears in Twelve as a "chosen one" of the gods).
Despite the presence of my main man Ma, Kang and all the other talent on show here, including the ever-reliable Ko Kyu-pil as Don-yi the "boar angel", the show only shines in brief patches.
Chalk it up to questionable storytelling choices (keeping vital exposition till far too late, for example), loose editing and choreography that keep the action sequences from sparkling, and the growing sense you get while watching that the folks behind Twelve couldn't really settle on what they wanted it to be. How it turned out, unfortunately, is just disjointed and overly mopey.
All eight episodes of Twelve are available to stream on Disney+ Hotstar.
Summary:
Angels and dim 'uns
