By Barney Stinson with Matt Kuhn
Publisher: Touchstone

This is not a parenting book. This is a work of fiction for a laugh or two. After all, it is “written” by the always unpolitically correct character – Barney Stinson from TV sitcom How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM).

This book is not for everyone and definitely not for the conservative.

This book is not to be read if you are now pregnant. Although a lot of “advice” and “tips” are for people who are now pregnant, please do resist the temptation to read the book if you are pregnant now. A lot of what he says is insensitive and can upset you.

He is Barney Stinson, remember?

He basically calls pregnant women fat and babies stupid.

This book is only to be read when your hormones are not sending you on an emotional rollercoaster and if you have a very good sense of humour.

The first time I picked up this book, I was horrified by what I read. The second time I picked it up, I kept reminding myself that this book is meant for humour and that it's basically written by an MCP (male chauvinist pig – is that even a politically-correct term, anymore?).

Keeping that in mind made reading all that easier and I even found myself loosening up and giggling at some things.

I liked the three-paged comic – The Adventures of Human Conception – which is about a sperm who goes all out to save an egg from “tampon alley!” Heh heh heh … still funny.

Naturally, the story in the comic makes no sense and is not even biologically correct. Suspend all thought of fact and reality and just read for the sake of humour.

I did find the chapter on Timing helpful. The suggestions may be quite insane - don't conceive on April 1 - “Good luck getting a cab to the hospital” on your due date which is New Year's! However, the mere idea of trying to plan so that you avoid certain dates or months is a good idea. I would also suggest avoiding having a baby too close to the festival that your family celebrates for the simple reason that your baby's birthday will always be overshadowed by that festival.

Another chapter I liked was the “Telling pop” chapter which has an “emotional translator” for men who first hear about the pregnancy. Here's an example:

What you (the husband) wants to say:
I suppose now she'll want to use the spare room as a nursery and not as a repository for the rare Star Wars memorabilia I've only been collecting my entire life!

What you should say:
That's wonderful, honey! Gee, are we gonna have enough room? Maybe we should think about getting a bigger place ….

Here's one the guys will have a good laugh over:

Barney's chart of the changes your body will go through as your baby grows during pregnancy does not consist of the usual images of the growing belly with foetus/baby inside. Instead, it just has an image of the pregnant mum's boobs as they grow larger from Week 4 to Week 40!

In the Announcing the News chapter, Barney lists out who you should inform and when. From the pregnant mum's mother and father to the in-laws, siblings, grandparents who are slightly “out of it,” racist grandparents, close friends, pets, not-so-close rich friends, hag from yoga who has zero body fat and is still single, boss, random strangers … and back again to the slightly-out-of-it grandparents!

There's also a chapter on Sex which answers the usual questions on how safe it is to have sex if you're pregnant. There's actually a pinch of truth about the question on oral sex, but do ask your doctor or Google it for the facts. Barney throws in some half-truths and then makes a joke out of most questions.

I didn't find all of it funny. I thought Barney's alphabet book and some of the nursery rhymes with his own lyrics were not funny and I thought the authors were just trying too hard.

I did like the Childbirth Pain Converter chart to help explain what the pregnant woman's pains are like to a man. For example, for a pregnant woman whose bowels are crushed by baby's head, the pain for a man is interpreted as “The morning after three dozen spicy Buffalo wings and a pitcher and a half of hefeweizen.”

Don't be shocked by the doll cut-outs with lingerie or the illustrations of cleavage in the book.

Again, remember, it's in the style of Barney Stinson. If you constantly keep that in mind, and you're a fan of HIMYM and Barney, then you will enjoy this book. The writing style has to be commended as at no point did it not feel like Barney talking to the reader.

Make sure you have a larger dose of humour when reading the chapter on Breastfeeding (yes, he does get naughty) and the story of “Goldislut and the Three Bros!”

I think men will enjoy this book much more than women. That said, please arm yourself with a huge sense of humour before attempting to read this book.

It can so easily offend and even if it doesn't, in my opinion, there's just so much of Barney Stinson that anyone can take.

It got a bit tiresome towards the last one-third of the book.

Recommended for men with a huge sense of humour.