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Monday October 31, 2011

Anti-climax in ‘Seks Islam’ book

The Obedient Wives Club (OWC) controversial pocket-sized Malay-language sex guide sold exclusively to its members is more of a mother’s labour of love for her son who was getting married.

IF I got RM50 for every time someone asked me a copy of Seks Islam, I would be as rich as Alex Comfort, the author of The Joy of Sex.

On Oct 21, in Petaling Jaya, at a press conference organised by Obedient Wives Club (OWC), the author of Seks Islam, Perangi Yahudi Untuk Kembalikan Seks Islam Kepada Dunia (Islamic Sex, Fighting Jews to Return Islamic Sex to the World), Hatijah Aam (pic) gifted the book to journalists.

Speaking via Skype from Mecca in Saudi Arabia, Hatijah, the OWC founder, told the club members: “Please present the book now to the media representatives.”

“We don’t want to hide it. We want to be transparent.

“We want to show that we are not hiding our (sex) knowledge,” she said.

And the dozen or so journalists became proud owners of the controversial pocket-sized Malay-language sex guide sold exclusively to OWC members for RM50.

Instantly, When I – @philipgolingai – “live” tweeted that I had a copy, I received several requests for a copy.

In my office, almost everybody I met was excited over my owning THE book except for this one guy who got aroused for the wrong reason. He thought I had a copy of the Auditor-General’s Report.

It seems everyone I knew lusted for the knowledge on how to graduate from kindergarten-level sex to PhD-level sex.

Who wouldn’t want to read a book advocating “spiritual sex” (a man could “come” spiritually to all his wives simultaneously even though they’re in Ipoh, Kuala Lum­pur, Singapore and Johor)?

And, by the day, the book is getting more notorious. Last week, the Sarawak government banned the distribution of Seks Islam in the state.

As my friends flipped through the book, their initial remarks were: “No picture ah?” or “No graphics ah? All words?”.

Sorry to disappoint, but the book isn’t the Comfort’s titillatingly illustrated Joy of Sex.

In fact, the 115-page booklet was a mother’s labour of love for her son who was getting married.

The preamble to Seks Islam – from its research – OWC found that what a woman sexually provided her husband was 10% of what his real sexual needs were.

“The wife thinks her 10% is 100%. She’s also dumb not to want to be taught about sex. She has a prejudiced perception that sex is obscene,” wrote Hatijah.

Chapter one explains why OWC was formed, chapter two talks about Hatijah’s husband, the late Al-Arqam founder Ashaari Muhammad, chapter three about giving 100% loyalty to your husband, chapter four is a guide for the future groom and chapter five is a letter to the bride.

Yawn. Yawn. Nothing that really makes me blush.

Hatijah also explained the difference between a man and a woman.

A man is held hostage by his desire. In order words, just like peeing, when a man has to go, he has to go.

A woman, however, can turn off and turn on her sexual desire as if it were a switch.

“If a wife loves her husband, she must instantly fulfil his sexual needs,” she advocated.

The climax of the book is in its conclusion.

Hatijah writes about her two-month training with Ashaari to become a heroic and angelic wife.

And she revealed her late husband could perform sex simultaneously with his wives, spiritually.

“Intimacy is much more pleasurable and ‘lighter’ through spiritual sex compared with physical sex,” she wrote.

Hatijah writes about seks seren­­-tak (simultaneous sex) but she does not reveal how to do it spiritually.

Perhaps, as she said in the press conference, what was taught in Seks Islam was just the tip of the iceberg (20%) of her sex knowledge.

So what has the book – as its title suggests – got to do with Jews?

From what I gather Jews have been propagating “extremely pornographic” illicit sex.

Am I missing something in life?

I’m not sure what I was expecting from the book. Techniques on how to please a Uranus chick with eight breasts?

For all its hype, reading the hyped book was an anti-climax.

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