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Friday May 11, 2012

Forgiveness is for yourself

I REFER to the touching story “Hugs and forgiveness” (The Star, May 10).

I like this passionate piece on forgiveness, where the killer dog’s owner makes an appearance at the victim’s funeral to seek forgiveness.

Senior citizen Yip Sun Wah was mauled by a miniature bull terrier cross, early on Tuesday morning.

I hope more of us can be forgiving and if possible forget what transpired when we know it isn’t anyone’s fault! What has been done cannot be undone.

Forgiveness isn’t easy; forgiving someone who you believe has wronged you is a very difficult thing to do. But please try to forgive. It is worth it.

Some people live their entire lives unwilling and unable to forgive and carrying this burden or chip on their shoulder all though their lives.

Perhaps you have survived a major traumatic event in your life and you are finding it difficult to forgive. You are among millions of people who harbour ill feelings towards others. Self-help and personal growth can be of great support and help to you.

A grudge takes seed almost silently and unknowingly: you think you’re over it, but then you discover you still haven’t forgiven the other person. For some, a grudge takes hold when one focuses on the bad things that one thinks has happened.

The only person being hurt by your inability to forgive is you. In fact, often, the other person doesn’t even realise you have these bad feelings towards him or her. He or she may have even forgotten about the incident that stays fresh in your mind every day.

Holding negative feelings against someone and never forgiving them causes you to become negative.

This leads to a shift in your way of thinking. You might become pessimistic and feel like everyone else is out to get you.

You might build a wall so nobody else can get close enough to hurt you again.

The most important reason you should forgive is to allow the healing process to begin.

When you are finally able to let go of what happened in the past and make amends with that person within yourself, you will be able to finally move forward in your own life.

You’ll feel as though a huge weight or burden has been lifted from your shoulders.

Be big enough to forgive someone for something bad. In the end forgiveness is for you.

BULBIR SINGH,
Seremban.

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