B, that’s how I used to call you lovingly. It has been nine long months since your left me suddenly to join the other eternal world. That was “the turning point” of my life. All my happiness, cheerfulness and enthusiasm in life were wiped out within seconds on Sept 22 last year.
Your demise was a great shock to family and friends, and overcoming the misery was not easy. It will never be. My life has taken a drastic turn and I endure each day with great pain and tears. Tears have been my only company from the moment you left me. The questions of why and how it happened have no concrete answers. Only God has his reasons which have been difficult for me to accept.
I know that death is bound to happen for each life on earth, but when it’s your loved one, the pain becomes unbearable and acceptance seems impossible.
Being together for 24 years were the best treasured memories which money can’t buy. The love that we had for each other cannot be compromised either. All I can say is that we were made for each other and there are no two ways about it. We were two souls in one body and when one leaves, the other suffers.
The question is why you had to go at that precise moment, when things had just become more smooth sailing, especially the last two years. We had undergone great turmoil and hardship in life, but we stayed together. When our child was seriously ill, you took it upon yourself to be a strong pillar by my side and never a day did I doubt your love for me and the kids.
I dread each day as it comes. Your cheerful and smiling face is everywhere, from our home to my desktop at work. I have made a pillow with your face embroidered on the cover which accompanies me during bedtime. Everywhere I go, the memories of us having been there before flood my mind and my tears flow freely.
Being together in Bangkok during your final days was the greatest gift which God bestowed upon me. Those memories and the pictures are all emblazoned in my heart, and they can never be erased.
You were a wonderful son to your mum, great husband to me, a loving and doting father to our kids, adorable son-in-law to my parents, best buddy to my brother and sisters, and not forgetting, a jovial uncle to all our nephews and nieces. Everyone adored you, Samy. Just the mention of your name brought smiles to everyone’s faces. Your face was always filled with smiles and cheerfulness which no money can buy.
I have said it before and I’ll say it again – you were and always will be my best friend. We could talk about anything and everything with each other – laugh, cry or just be quiet together. But you never liked to see me cry, I have seen how your heart sank whenever my tears flowed. Everyone misses you Samy. The last words you uttered before your last breath was, “Mal, I love you.” These words will never be erased from my mind till my dying breath. I promise you will never ever be forgotten and I miss you so much.
There will be a day when I will definitely meet you. Till that day, I await. My love for you will never fade.
From your ever loving wife
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