Friday, 9 May 2014

An easy rapport with mum-in-law

Vikram Rajasekaran and his mother-in-law Anasuya Haridas share an enviably close relationship. — SAM THAM/The Star

Vikram Rajasekaran and his mother-in-law Anasuya Haridas share an enviably close relationship. — SAM THAM/The Star

It has become a tradition for Vikram Rajasekaran and his wife to celebrate Mother's Day with both their families.

"It was never awkward or uncomfortable. I am as comfortable with her as I am with my own mum,” says Vikram Rajasekaran, 34 of his relationship with his mother-in-law Anasuya Haridas.

For Vikram, going to his in-laws house is like going home. It was that way even before he married his wife Hyma Haridas.

“I remember a story my father related to his brother some time back. It was before I’d gotten married. We were to have dinner at Hyma’s parents’ house and when my father arrived, he was rather taken aback to see me sprawled on the sofa, fast asleep with Hyma sitting by me.

“My father commented that even though I wasn’t married, I was surely treating the house like my own!” jokes Vikram, a brand strategist with a consultancy in Kuala Lumpur.

The easy relationship between him and his mother-in-law initially baffled Vikram’s father-in-law, M.P. Haridas.

“Whenever Vikram came over, we’d have conversations about sports and politics and current affairs. And then, he’d go into the kitchen where my wife was and after a while I’d hear them both laughing loudly. I’d often wonder what they had to talk about, really,” shares Haridas.

What he probably didn’t realise then was that Vikram and Anasuya shared common interests too - namely food and Tamil movies!

“Yes, we both like Tamil movies and often discuss the movies we watch,” shares Anasuya, a retired teacher.

“We exchange notes and share gossip,” chips in Vikram.

The secret to their close bond, he reckons, has a lot to do with acceptance and respect on both their parts.

“I am myself with her and my father-in-law, and treat them as I would my parents. They accept and respect me and I think that is really important. The minute you have to put up a front ... something is wrong,” he shares.

For Anasuya, Vikram is like the son she never had.

“I have two daughters and if I had a son, I think I would like him to be like Vikram. I always wanted my daughter to marry someone who is confident, can mix easily with people and is easy to talk to because then the two of them would be able to communicate well.

Vikram fits the bill. He is very friendly and can have a conversation with anyone and make them feel comfortable. Also, he is respectful of his elders and is good to his mother. He’s a concerned son and I really like that about him,” she says.

While neither Vikram nor Anasuya observe Mother’s Day, it has become a tradition for Vikram and Hyma to celebrate the day with both their families.

“We’re all very close and take both the mothers out for a meal on Mother’s Day. In fact, we go out a lot more now that Vikram has come into our family. We celebrate birthdays together and meet up for dinner any chance we have,” shares Anasuya.

Adds Vikram, “What I love and appreciate the most about her is that she is always there for me. Through good and bad times, she’s always there.

“If there is one thing I want to tell her on Mother’s Day, it is that I will always love and value her even if I never say it to her. She’s an amazing person,” says Vikram.

Related stories:

Circle of love: Mothers-in-law who are just like mum

Respect and acceptance among in-laws

Mum-in-law and daughter-in-law who cherish each other

Tags / Keywords: Lifestyle , Family Community , Mother s Day , Parenting , Family , Mothers


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