Malaysians in general do not “celebrate” Valentine's Day. While we may have indulged in sending each other roses and carnations in school, these days V-Day is way too commercialised, what more for parents who don't have the time and would rather spend their hard-earned money on their child's health and education.
While many parents we surveyed said they have no intention of celebrating Valentine's Day, most of them agreed that given a choice of dinner, chocolates, flowers, jewellery and a holiday, the obvious choice would be a holiday.
“We acknowledge there's a Valentine's Day but don't get caught up in the commercial hype of it. Most dining places will be fully booked and offer only overpriced meals so we usually stay at home or go to a small restaurant where Valentine's Day isn't a big thing. I don't mind a holiday. Some family time is good enough for me,” said one parent.
Another opined that V-Day is overrated as you don't need a special day to say “I love you” and spend good money on expensive presents.
She added, “Every day should be Valentine's Day. We don't need to buy stuff but little gestures like baking cupcakes, making breakfast, handmade cards or doing something simple for each other would be nice. Doing things together and for each other would be the best, if you ask me. A holiday would be great as a family. It would be a nice way to bond and have fun, away from the daily routine.”
One mother said she celebrates with her kids because her husband says it's too commercialised and not part of their culture.
She disagreed as she believes it's the perfect time to show your appreciation towards the people you love.
“I believe celebrating V-Day helps build the family bond. We celebrate a lot of things as a family ... anniversaries and birthdays. It really makes one feel special. I think holidays are the best gift because everyone has time for each other. It uplifts the spirits, too! We can all leave our troubles behind (for a little while at least).”
One mother said that she doesn't want to celebrate her love for her husband just because it is Feb 14. It is something to be shared intimately and preferably not with hundreds of other couples all around the country.
She added, “I want to tell and show my husband that I love and appreciate him in my own special way, and not be forced into doing it with seven billion people in a highly-commercialised atmosphere. And the way I show it does not involve dinners or gifts but in the little things I do for him out of the blue, like making him his favourite meal or holding his hand while watching TV. These may be simple and ordinary things but they are very special and personal.
“We celebrate other events as a family - birthdays, etc. We don't want our children to get sucked up by these impersonal events and later on in life think that this is the only way and day to express love to one another.”
She doesn't want or expect anything from her husband and kids. Gifts should come when she least expects them and only because the giver chooses to give them, she said.
One parent said there are just too many birthdays in February and not enough of a reason to celebrate V-Day.
Lamenting the fact that his birthday clashes with V-Day, one dad asked why he should pay exorbitantly for a mere meal.
“I would like to have a quiet night out with the missus and the kids, and not be held to a ransom at the cash register counter.”
Most parents over 40 said it's just another day to them now, although they did do something special on that day when they were dating. Perhaps it's just part of the maturing process?
Said one mother:
“We do not celebrate but my hubby always buys me flowers and gives me a box of chocolates. Valentine's Day is so commercialised that it has lost its identity for what it truly means and therefore we choose not to celebrate it but in fact the essence of Valentine's Day is always a part of our daily lives.
“We do not celebrate Valentines Day specifically but we still have a close bond as a family. There is no need to pick out this one particular day to strengthen family ties. There are so many other better and meaningful occasions to treasure.
“We do not celebrate it but it would still be nice to receive that small box of chocolates and flowers from my hubby. It would reflect his romantic side.”
Only about 22% of the survey respondents said they celebrate Valentine's Day. Some said it's a reason to go out and rekindle the romance. Now that the kids are grown up, it's a chance to reconnect with their spouse and break from the regular routine.
Parents with young children said all they want is some sleep!
“Rather than having one big celebration once a year, it would be more meaningful to celebrate each other every day (and not be celibate!).
“I would love to have eight hours of sleep! I've been breastfeeding for the past three years and anticipating another two more years to go. I really miss straight hours of uninterrupted sleep!” concluded one mother.
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