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Published: Friday December 6, 2013 MYT 12:00:00 AM
Updated: Friday December 6, 2013 MYT 7:11:31 AM

Who should make the first move?

DOES it really matter whether it is the guy or girl who makes the first move? Have we not come a long way that the social responsibility of initiating a date is not necessarily the guy’s?

One would think that in a day and age where equality is considered the “e” word, it would not be such a big deal if the woman asks the guy out. Or would it?

In this week’s The Star Online survey, we asked our readers — should a woman wait for the man to ask her out?

Should the woman make the first move? or the third option, do not do anything and enjoy your single life — 47% (2,077 respondents) said the man should make the first move. Out of 4,376 respondents, 1,427 (33%) said the woman should ask first.

A total of 872 respondents (20%) chose the third option of remaining single.

It is quite obvious that in the current dating world (online and offline), it is getting more complicated as to who should make the first move.

Why do these stereotypical roles still remain in society? Could it be because the woman might be seen as “easy” if she explicitly expresses her interest? Maybe it is also the fear of rejection and risking judgment from the guys too.

Respondents from 81 countries participated in this survey, the top five being Malaysia, Singapore, United States, Australia and United Kingdom.

We took the results of the survey to our Facebook followers to gauge their views on whether the onus still remained with the men to make the first move. *Names have been changed.

“Classic chivalry is nice,” said Julia Jamil, a working mother of three, who still preferred that guys make the initiative.

“The pressure is still on men to ask the ladies out because maybe we still live in a patriarchal society when it comes to romance? Personally, I’m just old-fashion that way,” said Lim Lu See.

Ariana Aziz said it was better that the guy did the initiating because it could be embarrassing for the girl if she got rejected.

The men, on the other hand, had no qualms if the women asked the guys out. Some in fact find this to be an attractive proposition.

“I would be very happy if a woman asked me out. However, Malaysian society is still quite conservative and men are still expected to make the first move,” said Ben Tan.

Baldesh Gill said there was nothing wrong if the woman asked first. “In this day and age, women are equal and a woman who knows what she wants is a major turn-on for me.”

Gerry Lim said a woman who knows what and who she wants and who works towards achieving her goals earns his respect.

“If you like someone, tell them, of course by leveraging some level of probability of success. Why wait for us?” added Lim.

“No one likes rejection, both men and women, but women are doing themselves a disservice if they rely solely on a man to make the first move,” said Briton James Smith.

Tags / Keywords: Lifestyle, Central Region, Dating, first move, men, women


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