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The Amazing Adventures Of The Sofa Spudniks

Published: Wednesday August 27, 2014 MYT 12:00:00 AM
Updated: Thursday August 28, 2014 MYT 2:59:58 PM

If only some TV characters were real

Family Guy

Family Guy

The Spudniks take characters out of their favourite shows and bring them to life. Well, kind of.

If you had a choice of who could be your boyfriend, best friend or lunch buddy from the world of characters on TV, who would you choose? Here’s what we came up with – by no means a definitive list, but at least something to kickstart your daydreaming.

Boyfriend

Scott Patterson as Luke Danes in Gilmore Girls.

Throughout the seven seasons of Gilmore Girls, I was smitten by diner owner Luke Danes (Scott Patterson). I thought: “How nice to be loved so completely by someone the way Luke loved Lorelai Gilmore (Lauren Graham).” He cooks, he fixes stuff and he loves her so unconditionally, he even accepts, and I presume, forgives all her missteps (some major!). But I’ve changed my mind, and it’s not because I’m jaded. Luke, I realise, isn’t for me. For one thing, I’d get really annoyed at the flannel shirts he keeps wearing ... every day. 

And what’s with the baseball cap? Dude, really? I mean, he makes an effort to dress up on formal dates (especially if Lorelai’s uppity parents are present) but these moments are rare. Am I being petty? Maybe. But wait. I also realise, in retrospect, how grumpy he is with the townsfolk. Yeah, he has a kind heart, but his gut reaction in most situations is to be completely negative. I know the people of Stars Hollow are a weird bunch, but such passive aggression and negativity would drive me over the edge. So, yeah, the lesson to learn is that even on TV, there is no perfect man. I guess I spent a good many years pining over nothing, really. SI

Partner in crime (metaphorically-lah)

Who better to be my partner in crime than Leonardo Da Vinci himself (Tom Riley, Da Vinci’s Demons)? Life would be a roller-coaster ride if I were part of Leo’s posse, I think. Happily enough he’s a genius and so he’d be able to get us out of any sticky situation (making bombs out of guano and building flying contraptions, to name but two of his nifty tricks). 

If he were living in Subang Jaya with me, he’d be gobsmacked. Just so many more resources available to him than in Renaissance Florence. Artist, lover, inventor, dreamer – we’d be like two peas in a pod. LOL. And hey, don’t forget he’s got a dishy adversary (Blake Ritson as Girolamo Riario) and employer (Elliot Cowan as Lorenzo Medici). I have no problems being in such company. AMC

Person to raise hell with

Breaking Bad

Let’s face it: every once in a while I wish I could go on a rampage and not suffer the consequences too much. Who better to pair up with than Walter White from Breaking Bad? For a terminally ill man, he sure had his (short) burst of action and adventure. For a brief period, I think I could do with some of the exhilaration he must have felt, albeit in doing something bad (initially for a good cause). Not the ideal way to go out (for the character) but what a cracking end to a cracking show! Who wouldn’t want to be part of it? – SI

Teacher

I have two picks in this category, both Walters. First up: Walter Bishop, PhD (John Noble, Fringe). Now if you’re going to have a Science teacher, you may as well have one as kooky as Walter. I bet every class would be an adventure. The son of a scientific pioneer at the University of Berlin who was involved in espionage for the Allies in Nazi Germany, Walter just has a treasure trove of knowledge and wild tall tales (which may be true after all) to keep any student entertained. 

Always experimenting and trying to open trans-dimensional windows, Walter would give new meaning to field trips. Plus if he were to bring his son (that would be Peter Bishop played by the dreamboat Joshua Jackson) to school someday, I would be pleased as punch. 

A close contender would be the chemistry genius Walter White (Bryan Cranston in Breaking Bad). Look, maybe Walters just make good teachers. So Mr White would never actually be in class because he would be too busy cooking somewhere. And despite his extracurricular activities, you know this man’s got a good heart and when it comes to chemistry, you couldn’t ask for a better teacher. AMC

Pet

Now I have a dog, Mojo, whom I love unconditionally. But sometimes I think it would be kinda cool, for a while. to have a pet-friend like Brian Griffin from Family Guy (voiced by Seth MacFarlane). That’s taking the “dog = man’s best friend” saying to a whole new level. Stewie’s so lucky, I tell ya. SI

Lunch buddy

Okay, when it comes to lunch buddies, who would I choose? I wouldn’t mind the Supernatural brothers (Sam and Dean Winchester played by Jason Padalecki and Jensen Ackles respectively) except that I’m not sure we’d ever get to eat anything without getting attacked by some kind of creature from the dark side. Conversation would be great, though, and I’d never run out of eye candy. 

I actually think maybe Jamie Oliver would make a good lunch buddy, too. He’d be able to tell me what’s fresh and good for me, and if things don’t live up to his standards, he’ll just whip up something in no time for us to snack on.

What about Scooby-Doo? Ever the loving best friend, Scooby’s always got a snack or two coming his way. AMC

Poker partner

When it comes to poker, I’d love to have Rick Castle (Nathan Fillion, Castle) on board, because only he has access to the likes of authors such as James Patterson, Stephen J. Cannell (well, he’s gone now, God rest his soul), and Dennis Lehane. How cool would that be? AMC

Tags / Keywords: Sofa Spudniks, TV

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