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Sunday August 24, 2014 MYT 12:00:00 AM
Sunday August 24, 2014 MYT 9:21:26 PM
by suchatra sangaran
Sometimes, life doesn't work out the way you want it to. But love has a funny way of giving you hope.
Fate has a funny way of deciding one’s life journey. No doubt at the end of the day, it always gives you the best despite the hurdles that one has to go through. It played a role in a love story that gave me memories to be treasured forever.
Life was going on as usual: work, home, family and friends to keep me smiling when the days seemed blue. One day, he walked into my life. He was introduced to me by my brother’s girlfriend through a social website. It was just a random hello. Little did I know that this would later have a great impact on my life.
We added each other as friends on the website and that was it. We didn’t communicate with each other. Neither of us took the effort, probably because we thought it wasn’t necessary as there wasn’t an important reason to keep in touch. Time flew by, and after a few months we began chatting. Frankly, I was the one who started the conversation. It wasn’t planned and it was just an ordinary chat about stuff, but the conversations made me smile. He was a funny guy.
Then one day, I happened to find out that he was sick. I felt extremely worried, which was odd as there was no reason to be. I decided to call him. I had his number all along but never had a reason to call before. I picked up the phone, steeled my nerves and dialled the number. I heard his voice for the first time. This may sound weird but I felt as if I had known him for a long time. He was surprised as well, but it was good to hear his voice.
We began to chat more often after that, and I began to smile and laugh a lot more. He just had that magic. I firmly believe that anyone would probably end up smiling when talking to him. He respected me for who I was. He was different from the rest: A hard-working person who had gone through much suffering to make something of himself. When I looked at him, he inspired me to be strong enough to face obstacles.
He was perfect in my eyes, but people say that when you like someone, even their flaws will look perfect to you. I started to feel beautiful. I felt happy and everything around me appeared new. I thought to myself, “Sweetheart, you're in love.”
He was a wise man, but when it came to love, he didn’t seem to know how to make decisions. I started doing things for him – not to impress him but because it made me happy. Seeing a smile on his face meant the world to me. I did everything a girl wouldn’t have done: sent him bouquets of flowers, bought him teddy bears, made him a card, and so forth. I didn’t know I could be this romantic. I told myself, it was because of him.
Sometimes, love comes hand in hand with pain. He had failed in a relationship before and made up his mind not to get married after the bitter experience. And then I showed up. I tried to change his mind and make him believe in love. It was very tough and he stood by his decision, but my love for him was too strong. Each time he went missing to avoid me, I didn’t give up. I kept telling myself that someday something beautiful will happen. After all, what is life without hope?
Years passed by and I was still hoping for a fighting chance for our relationship. Then out of the blue, after two years, I saw changes in him. He finally told me he liked me. There is a slight difference between liking someone and love, but I don’t ask much of him. I jumped for joy. It was as if the years of waiting for him had paid off. We did everything together, but sadly the relationship had no real status quo.
I was too excited with the happy moments to remember that our relationship wouldn't be respected in society. I approached him many times, asking that this be resolved, but he never gave me a definite answer. Despite all this, I never left him as I loved him and he made me happy.
Eventually, I had no choice but to walk away from him. I didn’t want to get hurt in the future. I was afraid that if things didn’t work out, I would end up living in disappointment. It took me a lot of courage to walk away from the man that I loved the most apart from my father, but one of us had to decide.
The memories keep me going and my heart still whispers that he's the one. Whether it’s meant to be or not, he has always been my hero and always will be. He gave me the strength to pursue my dreams. He gave me happiness and laughter. I await the day that things might be different. If your instincts say he's the one, there’s nothing to stop you from having a beautiful life. Nothing is perfect in life. There will be ups and downs.
He’s the most awesome man I’ve ever known. I don’t know what the future holds, but someday something wonderful will happen.
Tags / Keywords:
Heart Soul, Hero
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