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Published: Friday May 9, 2014 MYT 12:00:00 AM
Updated: Monday May 12, 2014 MYT 5:46:41 PM

Circle of love: Mothers-in-law who are just like mum

Ili Amira, mother-in-law Mimi Shamsudin and the new granddaughter. — ART CHEN/The Star

Ili Amira, mother-in-law Mimi Shamsudin and the new granddaughter. — ART CHEN/The Star

There are too many horror stories about the difficult mother-in-law, but as Mother’s Day approaches, we want to highlight how wonderful it is when the relationship works out as it is like having another mother to love you.

The best of friends

Some people dread the uncertainties of building a relationship with their in-laws but Ili Amira couldn’t wait to meet her then future husband’s parents. She was brought up in a happy family and was looking forward to being part of her husband Izmir Hamid’s family. She wasn’t disappointed.

“I have a wonderful mother and a great family. However, I guess I did not expect to have this overflow of happiness being part of another family that is so much like mine,” says Ili.

She gets along famously with her mother-in-law, Mimi Shamsudin, 56, sharing many similarities.

“My mum-in-law says that she sees a lot of herself in me. That’s probably one of the reasons we get along so well. We can talk about anything under the sun.

In fact, we even have the same tastes when it comes to fashionable handbags!” shares Ili who has two daughters.

What’s unique about Ili and her family is that her mother-in-law and her mother have become best of friends. Therefore, Ili never felt the pressure to divide her time between both of them.

“Whenever we want to hang out, we just go out together. It’s always been pretty simple with us.

“Sometimes I feel like I’ve struck gold to be this lucky. Not only is my mother-in-law a gem of a person, it’s also very nice to see my mother and her bond so well. I truly look forward to the times spent with both my ‘mums,’” shares Ili.

Ili’s mother-in-law has two daughters but Ili is her first daughter-in-law. The arrival of Ili’s first child strengthened their bond.

“My mum-in-law takes care of my daughter everyday while I am at work. So, as soon as I’m back, she relates all my little girl’s antics to me and together we laugh at how adorable she is.

“Of course, my mother, who does not live far away from Izmir and I, also has a huge role as the maternal grandmother to my daughter Inesa. Hence, my little girl is showered with attention by two very loving grandmothers!”

When Ili gave birth to her second daughter on Tuesday, her mother-in-law was by her side in the delivery room.

To Ili, even though she had always lead a good life with good influences around her, joining her new family was an even bigger joy.

“It felt like finding the missing pieces to a puzzle. A bond between a mother and child is truly unique, no one can deny that. But forming a relationship with my mother-in-law has also opened my eyes to other wonders in life.

“My mother-in-law does not expect very much from me, but I give as much as I can, to show her that I appreciate having her in my life.

“Over the years, she has really gotten to know me and understands my emotions too. We respect each other and have formed a give and take policy,” says Ili.

While she feels blessed that her mother-in-law and her have a good relationship, she is also aware that some people out there aren’t as lucky.

“I believe everyone out there has the potential to develop good relationships with their in-laws. Find one little thing that bonds the two of you and the rest will fall into place. There must always be compromise. A little give and take goes a long way as well,” says Ili, who strongly believes in nurturing good ties with her family.

Related stories: 

An easy rapport with mum-in-law

Mum-in-law and daughter-in-law who cherish each other 

Respect and acceptance among in-laws

Tags / Keywords: Family & Community, Mother's Day; Mother-in-law relationships

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