Even after 25 years as a business continuity and disaster recovery expert and having travelled to most parts of the world, nothing could have prepared me for my roller-coaster ride of raising three boys – Bryan Arvind Raj, 12, Brendan Annand Raj, eight, and Braden Arjen Raj, six. No amount of wealth or material gain comes close to the enormous joy they have brought me.
From the moment I held my first-born in the labour ward, overwhelmed by those incredible, indescribable feelings, to the birth of my second and third sons, life has been a continuous journey of happiness as I watch them grow, through all their joys, mischief, sickness and pain. Each cut and bruise, as well as those “night shifts” alternating with my wife when they were ill, have been invaluable lessons that I will never forget.
As a toddler, my second son made us really worried when he wouldn’t speak. People would tell us that something was probably “wrong” with him. But we persevered and had faith in God. Then, when he turned exactly three-and-a-half years old, he spoke! Non-stop ... like a train. So much so that he’s been nicknamed “professor,” also because he is doing exceptionally well in school.
My third son mastered his numbers and ABCs even before he started kindergarten. And his ability to draw is amazing.
The sight of my eldest son going up the stage year after year thanks to his academic excellence fills me with immense pride. Watching all three of them, each blessed with their own talents, makes me a truly proud daddy.
Of course, I must give credit to my wife who has guided them to be well-mannered, well-behaved, and religious. A quiet person who prefers to keep a low profile, she is the pillar of our family. She coaches the kids in their studies and prepares the most delicious “gourmet” food to keep them happily satiated. (I must add that my wife’s cooking is better than any I’ve had in any part of the world!)
Having lost my father at a very young age and growing up without fatherly love and guidance, I am even more determined to be the best father I can be to my sons. I want to be there for them at all times, nurturing, guiding, supporting them – emotionally and physically. I spend time with them whenever I can. I take them to the movies (all the Disney and Transformers movies, you name it, we’ve watched it), and for evening walks. I’ve taught them to ride a bicycle, fly a kite, and play football (with what skills remaining in me from my footballing heyday). All these precious moments give me immeasurable happiness.
My birthday this year has been extraordinary. My three sons helped my wife bake a chocolate cake. And they each wrote a message and did a special drawing on a card they made for me.
Fatherhood thus far has taught me a lot. It may not have been an easy ride but it has definitely been worthwhile. I wouldn’t change it for anything or have it any other way.
People have asked me: “Why don’t you try for a girl?” My answer is always the same: “I am perfectly fine with my three beautiful boys; they are perfect in my eyes.” Not having a “princess” in the house is no big deal when we have the “queen of our hearts” – my wife!
I am a better man today because of my wife and our children. What else can a man ask for? My life is complete ... they complete me.
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