Making Mother's Day special

Sometimes, we let the commercial aspects of a special day blindside us. If something is worth celebrating, celebrate away.

It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday. I’m a mother, but I really don’t know what to write about it. My friend Indra saunters over and offers solicited advice. “I think all these commemorative days are back in vogue. Forget the every-day-is-Mother’s-Day spiel! That’s cliched!” she says.

When you think about it, it makes sense. What if it’s your birthday and someone says to you: “No need to celebrate-lah! Every day is your birthday!” I’d scream at the schmuck to get out of my face.

Once upon a time, some copywriter was probably racing against time to meet his deadline, and came up with the brilliant line of “every day is (insert occasion here) day.” And from then on, it caught on like wildfire.

Well, it’s time to put out that fire. In 365 days, you are given a dedicated 24 hours to make something or someone special. It’s such a cool thing! So what if the retail world has turned everything commercial?

As I write this, I am bombarded by a hundred and one spam mail about Mother’s Day super deals. At the heart of it, it’s about putting some thought into it and figuring out how you can do something out of the ordinary for someone or something.

The recent Earth Day on April 22 saw the whole community coming together and sharing knowledge about what we can do for the environment. Of course we know that it’s not just about what we do on that one day, but an occasion like that gives everyone the opportunity to feel a part of the bigger picture. It tells us individuals that we are not alone in our efforts to save the world. Just before that, Earth Hour was marked on March 31. The initiative is now a worldwide phenomenon where everyone turns off power for one symbolic hour in support of saving the Earth.

All these one-day occasions bring people together. Whether it is a festive, political, personal or community day, I like to think we’re all capable of extraordinary acts of devotion. I haven’t thought about what I would do with my kids this Sunday. Nor have I any concrete plans for my mother. Whatever we do, it won’t be elaborate. I’m not throwing themed parties or buying five-figure presents. Sorry, Mum.

Also, until my kids are older, the onus on planning the special day for me would fall on their father. I just have to keep reminding him. Or maybe show him this column.

How do I want to spend the day? I have an idyllic picture in my mind. My kids would tell me they have a surprise planned for me. Then they would bring me to the neighbourhood kopitiam and order me my favourite hawker dish, and pay for it with their piggy bank money. I’m not hard to please.

You see, I have this mother-daughter relationship in my mind that I aspire to have with my two girls. It will be made up of simple pleasures in life, and never blindsided by material trappings.

I want our relationship to be defined by the things we do together – painting pictures in the afternoon, reading storybooks in car rides and during bedtime, writing stories about things that catch our fancy, making dolls, arguing but agreeing to disagree, fighting but making up.

So all the above should be reflected in my special day. Only they have to make an extra special effort. They will pick The Missing Piece to read, for that is my favourite, and paint rainbows, for that is their favourite thing to draw with me. They have to each write me a story, because usually they moan and groan when I tell them to. They will let me photograph them all day long, instead of behaving like Hollywood stars avoiding the paparazzi, a.k.a. me.

At the end of the day, we would have had so much fun that we would wish the next day is Mother’s Day again. But it’s not. Tomorrow will revert back to being an ordinary day. But it doesn’t mean we stop doing things together. We’ll just carry on making more memories, and come next year’s Mother’s Day, we’ll have a different celebration.

This Sunday, ask yourself how you would like to commemorate this past year with your kids, and your mother. And for goodness’ sake, celebrate it, for not every day is Mother’s Day.

Elaine Dong wishes all mothers a Happy Mother’s Day. She blogs at angelolli.com.