A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be. – Frank A. Clark
Where do I begin, to tell the story of how great a love can be ... Where do I start?
With her first “hello” into this world (I witnessed both my kids’ births), that moment when her tiny head protruded, a warm feeling enveloped me with untold joy, and that experience was the turning point for me – a new status, a Father!
Two-and-a-half years later, that same feeling. This time I welcomed the arrival of my son.
So there we were, with two unpolished diamonds! Armed with couturier Vera Wang and hairstylist Vidal Sassoon’s skills, my wife Anna and I, respectively, set about designing and shaping our own Pocahontas (later, Maria Sharapova), and Power Ranger (later, Roger Federer) ... you’ve guessed it, me and my wife are avid tennis players. (For the record, both my children have represented Perak in tennis competitions.)
Our first task after Aaron’s birth was to introduce Andrea to her brother. To water down the possible feelings of jealousy, we told Andrea how much her little brother loved her and as the newest member of the family, he had come bearing a special gift for her.
So on June 30, 1994, while my parents were looking after Andrea and I was in the delivery room welcoming Aaron, I sneaked in a beautifully wrapped gleaming red Proton Wira toy car beside the newly-born fella.
When visiting hours came, I led Andrea into the room and, with lightning sleight of hand David Copperfield-style, presented the gift “from Aaron” to her.
The expression on Andrea’s face was one of half-delight, half-disbelief and 100% doubt. For an almost-three-year-old, she “acted” like she believed it was truly a present from Aaron and just to play along, grabbed the package, unwrapped it and went silent. For 30 agonising seconds. Then she blurted out: “Pa! BLUE! No want RED!” Everything went according to plan but for one small detail – the colour of the car.
Oops!
One fine morning, when Anna was at the market, I was awakened by the sound of a pillow fight. I turned around just in time to catch Andrea gripping her comforter double-handed a la Sharapova’s backhand, and about to execute a stinging topspin to the back of Aaron’s upright head, which was bigger than a tennis ball and could hardly be missed, not at such a close range ... WHACK!
And, all Aaron did was turn around and grin at her tormentor, asking for more!
I used to take my family to a farm once owned by a relative just outside Gopeng, Perak, where my father was a caretaker. I wanted them to be as close to nature as possible. We would go fishing in a paddle boat and jungle trekking, learn to handle snakes, go cycling, pluck rambutans and mangoes, fly kites. At night, we would all sit around the table after dinner, talking about the day’s experiences.
Fast-forward 20 years later: Andrea and Aaron are at the threshold of adulthood (the song Sunrise, Sunset comes to mind ... Is this the little girl I carried / Is this the little boy at play / I don’t remember growing older / When did they?).
As a father, I want to impart to my children a few principles to live by, the most important of which is to not spend more than we have, to be able to differentiate between needs and wants, to find the things in life we have a passion for, and to strive towards excellence in everything that we do. I have always encouraged my children to learn from their mistakes. We have never pressured our kids to attain good results in their studies, something few parents can do, given today’s result-driven society.
My only prayer is for both of them to enjoy good health, and to be well-adjusted individuals who can contribute positively towards society and be a light that shines and touches the hearts of the people they come into cont act with.
Fathers Figure invites fathers of any age and every stripe – rich dad, poor dad, single father, fun dad, tiger dad – to talk about their parenting experiences. E-mail star2@thestar.com.my with the subject header ‘Fathers Figure’, preferably between 600 and 800 words, with a photo attached. Published contributions will be paid. So please include your full name, IC number, address and contact number.
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