Why parents must play

Setting: On the bed at 9pm
Players: Mum and her five-year-old boy

Mum was trying to get her child to sleep but the little boy wanted to play a little longer. After promising that he would definitely go to bed after five minutes, mum and child started to “set up their camp site”.

Then, they looked up at the clear night sky and marvelled at the twinkling stars and bright, round moon. They talked about the different stars that appeared in the sky and how the stars appeared to be dancing and laughing at each other! They also talked about the different planets in the galaxy and wondered which planet ET had come from.

Soon the mum reminded the boy that five minutes had gone by and that he should be going to bed now. He wanted to prolong the play but the mum was firm that he honours the promise that he had made. He was reluctant initially but after his mum assured him that they would return to this campsite, the boy got under his blanket and kissed his mum good night.

In the above scene, by playing with her child, the mum had shown love, enforced discipline, communicated and educated her child, as well.

Play is so important and yet, many of today's parents allocate the least time for the child to play and also, to play with their children. A child's most important “daytime job” is to play. “Play” includes all fun activities, such as music, arts & craft, dancing, creative play, sports, reading/storytelling, etc. And to a child, what can be more pleasurable than to have his mum or dad play with him?

The role of today's parents is a lot more complicated and difficult compared to their parents' time. If a parent does not have a close relationship with her child from Day One, parenting becomes even more challenging as the child grows up. One of the ways to ensure that parents and their children develop a strong bond is through play. Parents will have a higher success level of reaping the rewards of a strong relationship with their child if they spent time nurturing the bond at the foundation level.

All parents love their children and they aim to provide the best for them. One of the best things you can do for your child (and for yourself) is to spend time playing with them. Contrary to what parents think, a child does not need more than the basic material things; what he really requires is his parents' love, time and attention.

When you spend time engaging in play activities (whether it is structured or free play) with your child, parent and child will have fun and get to know each other's inner soul. You will know your child as an individual, his likes and dislikes, his temperament, and his outlook in life. His personality will also shine through in play. How does he react to winning/losing? What motivates him? Is he highly imaginative? Creative? Musical?

During playtime, you will also be able to take note of his developmental progress. His playing mannerism will tell a lot of his cognitive, motor and emotional development. During play, you should observe if his play is age-appropriate, that is how he plays with his toys. Does he enjoy a wide range of toys? Does he make eye contact with you? Is he exceptionally shy? What is his attention span? After the age of three, he should seek out the company of other little friends. He should be able to communicate, learn to share (or fight for) his toys and wait for his turn.

When you are playing with your child, you can also take the opportunity to impart family and social values. Think about the values cherished by the family and the general social values that a child should learn from young. Whenever applicable, inject these values into the play sessions. If the child hears of these values over a period of time, the values will be “cemented” into him. It is hoped that these values will become useful to him when he needs to make important decisions in the future.

There are also lots of opportunities to increase your child’s general knowledge during play. In the above child-led play activity, the boy learnt about the stars and the moon. In subsequent play sessions, the topics of conversation can be expanded to cover the animal kingdom, the various “picnic foods” and everyone's responsibilities of taking care of the forest and, in general, taking care of the environment.

In the course of play, mum too would learn something new – “mobile refrigerators”, salad made with sausages (!) and a magical stove that heats up on its own. A lot of speech and language development would also take place.

Play also benefits the parent tremendously. Besides forging a bond with your child, it is also a great stress-reliever. It will put you on an emotional high and feeling good means looking good!

So, if you want to feel young and look good, be child-like and play!

“You stopped playing not because you grew old,
You grew old because you stopped playing!”

Anna Wong, mother to a 16-year-old special girl, founded Glen Stream (www.senses-at-play.com) in 2005 to assist other parents on this challenging journey. Her company offers related products and services.