MOST mothers are usually the beacon of hope and the pillars of strength in the family. Come what may, they are always there to support and give sound advice to their children.
The roles they play have become invaluable as women start families and turn to their mothers for support.
Generations ago, children were raised by mothers who did not have access to Internet forums, seminars, advice columns or workshops. Many simply relied on their own experiences and their parents' way of raising children - and it worked.
One such person is Elizabeth Tang, 62, a mother of three who lives in Sibu, Sarawak.
“There were lots of ‘do's’ and 'don'ts' when I was raising my children,’’ says Tang in an email interview.
“In our day, we did not have the Internet and the opportunity to look for information. There weren't any parenting books that showed us how to look after our children, either. Our skills were based on our own parents' experiences,” she recalls.
However, Tang is quick to point out that a decade ago, the world was a far safer place for children. Mothers were also not as anxious about the whereabouts of their children as they are today.
“The fear wasn't the kidnapping of children in my time. It was more of making sure they did not mix around with bad company and get involved in unhealthy habits,” she adds.
She also worried about their education. At the time, the language of instruction in government schools was Bahasa Malaysia, so Tang worried that her children would be weak in English.
“I bought lots of English storybooks, comics and magazines to make sure they excelled in English as well,” she says.
The retired school teacher now owns and runs a kindergarten called Tadika Seri Kasih in Sibu.
Her journalist daughter Elaine Dong, 34, who is the eldest, remembers that her mother always nurtured them with lots of love and affection – something that she in turn does with her two daughters, aged two and five years old.
“She was not too strict and we knew our boundaries,” says Dong, adding that her mother was always very loving.
Parenting styles have not changed much according to Tang.
“It depends on the individual. The goals each parent carves out for their child will determine their parenting style,” she explains.
Some parents set high standards for their children while others give their children the freedom to do what they want.
“I gave my children the freedom to choose. When they were young, they were also given a lot of exposure. To me, a good education with a good command of the English language is the key to my children's success,” she says.
Commenting on her daughter's parenting skills, Tang says her daughter is capable of handling both work and family matters.
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