Going through labour 8 times

KATE Gosselin (from the American reality TV series, Kate Plus 8) had eight, but she only had to deliver twice. Joanne Theseira, on the other hand, went through labour all eight times.

The cheerful 43-year-old, whose children are aged between eight and 24, says having a big family can be crazy at times but the love shared makes it all worth it.

“I have four brothers and sisters while my husband is one of 10 children. But we never planned on having so many.”

Joanne adds that Jonathan, their firstborn, arrived when she was 10 days shy of her 19th birthday and was quickly followed by Maximilian and Clifton, now 23 and 21, respectively.

Then Jesinta came along a year later. “We were so excited and thought we had had enough children.”

She and husband K. Vellu, a Penang Water Supply Corporation labourer, then talked about getting her tubes tied, but “we never got around to doing it”.

After a two-year gap, cheeky Jason was born, followed by Eric a year later, then Alex. The couple then settled in for seven years before Joanne became pregnant – unexpectedly – with Mary Theresa, the baby of the family.

The whole family live together on the top of the hill at Jalan Air Terjun in Mount Erskine, Penang, where they are the caretakers of a cozy former Catholic chapel.

When everyone is in, you can hear the loud chatter of a household that has the gift of language.

Gathered in the living room where everyone sits in a circle on the floor for meals (the table not being large enough to seat 10 comfortably), multi-lingual conversations can be heard flying back and forth as each family member can communicate in Hokkien, Tamil and a variety of other Chinese dialects, aside from English and Bahasa Malaysia.

Joanne, a full-time homemaker, says raising a large and lively family is not as difficult as one may think – at least when the children were younger.

“As babies, all my children never really gave me problems. They slept through the night and rarely cried for long unless they were ill. But they were very noisy. During the school holidays, the house is like a market place.”

As Vellu, 48, was out working during the day, or taking on odd jobs in his spare time to make ends meet, Joanne was often the one who disciplined the children.

Tall and lanky Jesinta, aptly sums it up: “Daddy’s the joker, mummy’s the strict one”.

“My mother is one tough nut to crack. She’s a very strong woman. Our family has gone through ups and downs but she is the best mum you can ever find,” says the 20-year-old, who is currently waiting for her STPM results and aspires to study law.

As the only daughter for years, Jesinta remembers her mother being especially strict with her – she was drilled in her studies.

“The work paid off though – I have the best handwriting in the family!” she says.
 

Jonathan, Maximilian and Clifton recall the many times their mother had to come after them with the cane.

“The three of us would always ‘disappear’. All you had to do was look away for five seconds, and we’d be gone,” says Jonathan, 24, who works as a lift technician.

The brothers loved going fishing and swimming every day.

“We would always go without telling mum. When she came looking for us, it would be with the cane and that’s when we started running,” Maximillian, a mechanic, jests, adding that their only hope of escaping punishment came in the form of Vellu – but only if he was happy with their catch.

Clifton says on hindsight, his mother was not that strict and her honesty thwarted many misunderstandings between them.

“Most of the problems I’d had, she would solve. And when she had problems, she’d shared them with me. I’m so proud to have her,” he adds.

And while the family kept to a chore roster to ensure that everyone got their fair share of housework, Joanne was known to be much more than fair with her “collective punishment” rule.

“If one person did something wrong, everybody got the rotan,” says Eric.

The 17-year-old, who will be sitting for the SPM this year, adds that his mother was very protective over her children, a fact he is now thankful for.

“I didn’t like it so much when I was younger, but now I see that it’s good. Sometimes, I see kids whose mothers don’t really bother (about being around them a lot) and I’m glad that mum corrects me when I’m wrong.”

Being in a big family is comforting as every one has someone to turn to in times of trouble. But there are disadvantages too, especially when it comes to choosing which show to watch on television.

“I never get to watch what I want,” Eric groans.

Both Joanne and Vellu admit that having to live on one salary means their budget is often tight.

“In the months when we have more money, we have more food. When we have less money, we have less. That’s the reality of it,” Vellu says.

Joanne adds that the family has received a lot of help from the church, with three nuns from the Sisters of the Infant Jesus taking the first seven children under their wings for tuition classes.

With the modest income, the family cannot afford to go on holidays or keep buying things for the children.

“If we can afford something, we will buy it. If not, I’ll tell them they have to wait.”

Jonathan, whose job now enables him to travel throughout the country, says the tough life was not always easy, but it taught him valuable lessons.

“It’s true that as kids, we never got everything we wanted, but it taught me that I have to work for whatever I want. Everything I have now, be it a computer or TV set, I got through my own efforts.

“Although I try to buy things for the younger ones, I hope they learn this (lesson) as well,” he adds.

For Jason, 18, having an intelligent and loving mother was invaluable during his school days.

“She never left me. Even when I was causing trouble in school and getting into disciplinary problems, she was always there for me,” says the part-time waiter.

When Jason was going through a rough patch in school, he had tried to hide his problems from his mother, but to no avail.

“She found out anyway. She knows me from A to Z. In that way, she’s a challenging mum. It’s not easy to outsmart her.”

Insightful Joanne also knows her two youngest children well; she describes Alex as quiet and thoughtful, and Mary Theresa as a lively chatterbox.

“My friends are a little surprised that I have seven brothers and sisters,” says angel-faced Mary Theresa.

The Year Two student, however, has no complaints as it is common knowledge that she has most of her siblings wrapped around her little finger.

“Max buys me sweets and Alex plays masak-masak with me. I like having a big family.”

As the youngest boy, Alex is often an easy target for his brothers (and older sister), and he is thankful for his mother’s firm hand.

“I get bullied, but she steps in and doesn’t let it get too bad. I do get caned, however, when I bully the younger one,” says the Form Three student.

Although each of her children bears the combined good looks of their Eurasian and Indian parents, Joanne is just grateful that they are all happy and healthy.

Now, with the older ones in the workforce, and only three still in school, she has more time on her hands.

“I even have time to garden and watch TV. To be honest, it was easier when my children were younger. Then, they had to live by our rules. Now that they’ve developed their own opinions, we often have to live by theirs!” Joanne adds.