I HAVE a two-year-old girl whilst my neighbour has two primary-school-going sons and a four-year-old daughter. The neighbour’s daughter is always acting up. She would be crying and wailing at the top of her lungs whenever the parents leave the house for work. They leave her with a maid at home.
My daughter is at an impressionable age when she’s easily influenced by other children. There were several occasions when she would mimic the neighbours’ daughter when she heard her crying and wailing.
How do I teach her that it is not right when she hears the neighbour’s daughter doing it almost every other day? Also, please advise on how to handle situations when children are constantly acting up.
Concerned neighbour
Children imitate those around them. But they are most influenced by their parents. Start by helping your daughter know what is appropriate behaviour and what is not.
Your neighbour’s children are having a difficult time being left alone with the domestic helper. The ruckus they cause at home may be a way of reaching for help. Whenever it is possible, invite the children over to your house and conduct a peaceful conflict resolution discussion. Hear them out so that you know how to help them. Share your findings with their parents.
You can do some role-playing with your neighbour’s children and get them to voice out their feelings. While you are relating to the older children, your two-year-old daughter will also observe how people handle challenges and conduct themselves when they are faced with problems.
Guide your two-year-old in knowing what is appropriate behaviour. When she requests for something in a manner that is peaceful and pleasant, offer her encouraging words. She will soon learn that certain behaviours should be repeated. When a positive behaviour is reinforced, toddlers tend to follow up with the same.
She will learn from her parents who are her role-models. If the people in her home demonstrate self-control in their daily activities, your child will pick up positive behaviour.
Your two-year-old may have limited understanding of everything around her but she can start to take small steps. When she hears her neighbour’s child scream and shout, you can say:
“(Child’s name) is feeling upset because her mummy and daddy are leaving for work. We should help her feel better. Let’s find out how we can do so.” There may be more to her crying and wailing than just missing her parents.
Avoid saying negative remarks regarding your neighbour’s daughter in front of your own child.
While you help your neighbour, your daughter can pick up useful tips about being a good neighbour. Studies have shown that children who have trusting relationships with their parents grow to become more adept at understanding other’s perspectives.
Still, you should help your child to understand that throwing a tantrum or screaming loudly are not acceptable. But, if you can put yourself in your child’s place and try to understand what the world feels and looks like to your child, you will make her feel a lot better.
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